Thursday, December 21, 2000
growing up is over rated. i tried it for a while, but it sucked, so i regressed. it left its scars though.
i'm glad you dance to the Powerpuff Girls song, i'm glad you own more toys than both of my nephews combined, i'm glad you watch Saturday morning cartoons. if you'd turned into one of those old fogies like nearly everyone else we went to high school did, we'd have some serious problems. and my life would be much emptier for it.
Wednesday, December 20, 2000
Tuesday, December 19, 2000
additionally, i left the television on last night, and i woke up to Simon and Simon. not a pleasant experience.
Monday, December 18, 2000
silly, naive Rich. it has nothing to do with democracy. we have troops there because some shadowy level of our government knows that, in that particular area, there are powerful demons bound to subterreanean prisons by ancient wards that are being weakened by some unknown force. that unknown force is also responsible for all the violence and bloodshed, as it's stinking taint corrupts everyone who lives in the area too long.
democracy be damned. we're trying to stop an ancient evil from conquering the Balkans.
and take a look at the runners up (runner ups?), a.k.a, People Who Mattered (that's what they called it, not me). Yasser Arafat and Ehud Barak are both named for not negotiating peace. Eminem is named for....? i'm not sure. and Richard Hatch, for getting naked, i guess. Elian Gonzalez, for just existing.
there are some real choices, like Vicente Fox, Kofi Annan, and John McCain, but all the other names are dubious. they seem more like the nominees of entertainment magazines than for a serious (and respected) news magazine. maybe Time and AOL are a better match than previously believed.
Saturday, December 16, 2000
the McD's Coffee Woman is a different matter. she shouldn't have won a dime, because she did something stupid that she should have known better than to do, thus she caused her own injuries. the reporter was injured because of someone else's (the driver's or the equipment operator's) negligence or incompetence, and someone else's (the manufacturer's and employer's) negligence or shortsightedness. in addition to losing her forearm, her foreleg, and part of the remaining foot, she probably also lost her career, Miss Crawford County or not.
[update 6/02/05 - embarrassed to admit, but my denunciation of the McDonald's Coffee Woman was unjustedfied. In the few years since I'd written that, I've actually read something about the case instead of listening to repeated tales from other people]
"cool! i should be able to get finished before anything bad gets here," i thought to myself. i take a look out the window, and the sky's overcast and it's snowing!
so much for the Weather Channel.
Friday, December 15, 2000
please, Pierce, won't you stay? i'll give you a shiny quarter if you do!
- All Dogs Christmas Carol --if it has Scooby Doo, Scooby Dumb, Scooby Dee, Scappy Doo, and Astro, it might be interesting.
- Angel of Pennsylvania Avenue --Hillary?
- The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas --don't most of them?
- Like Father, Like Santa --starring Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore?
- Munster's Scary Little Christmas --you know this is lame
- The Last Polar Bears --is this an apocalyptic film?
on the other hand, there are some shows that i'd like to see:
- The Nightmare Before Christmas --this should be a Christmas Classic
- A Wish For Wings That Work -- good any time of the year
- A Muppet Christmas Carol --the best telling of a holiday classic
- Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves of Fire --ok, i just want to see this because the credits list Robbie Williams first, and i want to see if it's this Robbie Williams, or just someone with the same name. if it's the latter (or, if it's animated, which it probably is), then move this one up to my Crap list.
this time though, there was a tiny, female voice on the other end: 'this is So-and-So with Telecommunications. i'm having some trouble with the line.. it's not going where i want. i'm sorry!'
i felt bad. for all of half a second. she should have told me that the first time. i wouldn't have been so irritated.
on another (but possibly related) note:
my milk tasted a little funny this morning, so i didn't drink it. that may be contributing to my irritability. that, and the fact that i came to work early. so overall, i'm just not a pleasant person today.
(and why am i still having trouble linking to your posts?)
Thursday, December 14, 2000
armed with the knowledge of Pooh and Friend's various psychological, neurological, and sociological problems, i have been able to determine that my friends and i resemble Pooh and Co. most uncannily.
[link from Arcanum_5 on WW forums]
yes! maybe i won't have to feel bad when he comes over on wednesday nights.
speaking of mikey, he came over last night with a couple of days of beard growth. grr! he looked sexy! but he's not keeping it. ::sigh::
i'm Willow-esque, which i can accept, except for that whole dating-a-woman thing:
Willow
We've said it before and we'll say it again: You're the coolest friend a person could have. You're smart, loyal, cool, and an awesome dresser! You're always up for helping out, are sensitive of other people's feelings, and don't' even let those nerd-like tendencies of yours get in the way of your social life. You've got the balanced-life thing down to a science. And that is so cool. We totally dig it. Our only problem with you is that sometimes you're so busy being a good friend you don't let yourself get the attention you deserve! You're a star in your own right. Take credit for it once in a while. Don't get made up like girl-next-door Reese Witherspoon. Go for the bold Lucy Liu look once in a while! Your friends won't mind - if they're as good friends to you as you are to them. It's your turn to shine!
so what does everyone think? should i try the Lucy Liu look?
"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music."
[from the popbitch newsletter]
"you Oklahomans don't know how to drive on snow," he says to me as he's shoveling the snow around his stuck-in-the-snow truck. strangely, though i'm stupid, I didn't get stuck anywhere.
also, motherfucker, you're an Oklahoman too. the only places you have ever lived were:
- here in Tulsa, with your parents
- here in Tulsa, 3 miles from your parents (in a house they bought for you, i might add. they must have wanted you out of their house really badly. prick)
i'm irritable this this morning. because of the snow, i couldn't get my chocolate milk, and Jeanie's not at work.
ho hum. Jeanie! where are you?!?
i shouldna got out of bed this morning.
Wednesday, December 13, 2000
afterward, of course, you'd have been unable to write about meeting Sabretooth.
i followed the link to Tyler Mane's website, and took a look at his Projects section. i didn't know that Mr. Mane is a veteran of the musical theatre:
[Tyler Mane] drew strong reviews as the lead role of Dean Rebel in the San Diego Repertory production of a wrestling musical entitled 'Turbo Tanzi'
Tuesday, December 12, 2000
i hate snow.
i'm fairly sure that i'd rather go to school than to work. i'm even surer that i'd rather not have to do either when it's been snowing.
if it snows here tonight like it's supposed to, i won't be coming to work tomorrow. i'll make sure i can't make it. i will slide my car of the road if need be. i will claim that the snow is much heavier on my side of town. whatever it takes. i want another day off. for once, i want to actually call in and say, "i can't make it today. there's too much snow."
i loved that game. you and 5 others could play at the same time on a double screen, each player with a different character. they all had their own moves and mutant powers (they gave Colossus an energy spark power... wtf?). i was a master at the "Dazzler Light Ball Slamdunk" and the "Dazzler Cartwheel Grab-n-Throw". i could make it through all the levels, beat all the mini-bosses (like the Blob, Juggernaut, White Queen, and Mystique), then kick Magneto's ass, without using mutant powers, on a single play.
i spent many, many hours of many, many nights of my freshman year playing that game. it was the single biggest reason that i almost never made to my Russian and Political Science classes.
i miss Dazzler.
Christian Right Lobbies To Overturn Second Law Of Thermodynamics
when he was in town last weekend for his father's funeral, he'd called the station to play one of their little games, and was entered in the drawing for that damned scooter. he'd given them my address and phone number. and he won. bitch.
that link led me to search for hypnogogic hallucinations and sleep paralysis both something i suffer from frequently.
when i was a child, i was a sleepwalkerer. i don't think i do that anymore though.
something i do still do, and often, is a hypnic jerk, a.k.a. sleep jerk or sleep start (i've also seen it called something like 'onclonic jerk' but i can't seem to find anything about that now). everything i read on hypnic jerk says it happens once a night, just before you go to sleep. it happens to me multiple times nightly, and it's usually accompanied by a short (15 or 20 seconds) nightmare-type episode, and it doesn't involve a feeling of falling or anything like that.
anyway, all of that is just a long introduction to this:
i love the word somniloquy (something else i used to do alot as a child).
you'd think that, after 6 months, he'd know that there are certain nights-- no, not even that-- certain shows that i watch, and i cannot be separated from the tv. exactly 5 and a half hours worth every week. he's not much into sci-fi, and that covers half of my viewing period. instead of finding something else to do, though, he sits there with me and watches it.
yeah yeah, it sounds sweet that he's watching something he doesn't like just because i want to see it, but it's not. it's torturous. i feel bad that he's watching something he doesn't like and has no interest in, so i'm distracted from the show and can't enjoy it. until he says something like "they should just cancel X-Files since David Duchovny's not on there anymore," or "they should just blow up Voyager. there's never gonna make it home."
i think he does it intentionally, just to get my hackles up and get me talking. he enjoys seeing me get all worked up about something insignificant. but it's just not nice, because then i miss something that may have been important to the show.
i think i need to start taping X-Files and Voyager, and then watching them everytime he comes over. he'd eventually tire of all the sci-fi, and maybe he'd just go to sleep whenever something good is on. or maybe he'd start coming over on the nights when i watch no television. or maybe he'd start getting into the shows, want to watch them all the time, and i'd get sick of them.
Monday, December 11, 2000
[thanks to Max (i think that's the name) for the news]
the good news for me is that the parking lot is about half empty. i should have much less work to do today than i normally would, not that i ever have much to do anyway.
Friday, December 08, 2000
he couldn't go down to the bar because there were too many fans? when did they start letting 15 year old girls into bars?
my theory: he couldn't go down to the bar because he knew he'd get his ass kicked, because EVERYONE who isn't a 15 year old girl would love to kick the crap out of a Backstreet Boy. or two. or five.
[link snatched from this guy]
someone at Marvel should die for that, a long painful, gorey death. there's only one Dazzler, as SHE sure as hell isn't Warren's uncle.
Thursday, December 07, 2000
i should have tried harder though with Brian. but you'll meet him. i promise.
by and by, did i mention that i know Rich through Brian? that's close, isn't it?
sounds like something i'd want to see. hooray for Sundance!
thanks to this guy for the link.
link via Web Queeries
Wednesday, December 06, 2000
oh yeah, i stole the link from this guy.
oh! how rude of me. Jean, meet Rich. there, now everyone who bothers to read my blog knows each other.
since i work with people who aren't overly computer savvy, i think it's more likely that the person changed his or her password and forgot what he or she changed it to.
i seriously doubt that some Hacker is going to take the time to break in, figure out someone's password, do whatever Evil Things it is that a Hacker would do at TVGuide, then change the Victim's password, thus tipping off everyone that a Hacker was there.
it's so frustrating working with people who can't think.
Tuesday, December 05, 2000
The Naked Dancing Llama Homepage
Henry Lim's LEGO Sculptures. [link ganked from Ernie who pilferred it from Ritchie]
- pokemon. i love pokemon, especially Gengar. but i'll deny it to anyone who asks.
- tiramisu. tiramisme? yes, tiramisu!
- Paul and Jan Crouch. not even Paul so much as his crack-whore partner on their gold-plated set, crying and begging for people to send money to Jesus, via the Crouches. they piss me off royally, but there's just something fascinating about watching the crack-whore cry all the time.
- Celine Dion. some of her music actually. yes, i am ashamed.
- Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. more specifically, wishing i could wear the cat-wear and look as good as she did.
"one of the top-grossing comedies of the year [this year]."
whew! that's like saying "my right hand is one of the most useful hands on my body." it really doesn't mean anything, does it?
and that's good, because that movie fucking sucked! yes, there were some funny scenes, and a few funny lines, but the whole damned movie revolved around fart jokes! a few such jokes can be humorous, but when a significant portion of your movie relies on them, then your movie fucking sucks, fucking sucks, fucking sucks! sequels often don't live up to the original, and The Klumps is no exception, falling far short, but come on! i didn't think that highly of the first one! how hard could it be!
another night of not sleeping well.
on top of being tired, it's hard for me to pay attention to what i'm supposed to be doing. since getting to work today, i have checked my email, and learned some more about tables and frames, and cleaned up a few mistakes i made in this. sounds semi-productive, i know, but my boss would disagree.
i want a nap. but since i can't take one, i'm going to have to pledge to myself that i WILL take something to help me sleep tonight so i can be all fresh and perky tomorrow.
Monday, December 04, 2000
The Daily Guerrilla Journal (from November 1999)
- Recovering alcoholic and former cocaine addict George W. Bush is complaining bitterly about the "ambush questions" he was asked last week by a television news reporter concerning the names of four foreign heads of state. Bush knew only one (Taiwan's Lee Teng-hui), and looked like a deer in the headlights as he demonstrated his lack of knowledge about world events. But later, when asked how many grams are in an ounce, Bush perked up, immediately answering "twenty-eight."
that cracked me up.
it's only three pages so far, but i'm already interested in seeing more. plus, the art is fabulous.
dammit! i said it! at least this deserves it.
although i've read part of the novel, and seen the first move, i won't say anything about Dune and ruin it for you. mainly because i was never sure about what was going on.
i just didn't get that whole "reactor-core-meltdown-destroys-the-last-of the-resistence-and-everyone-dies" thing.
just kidding, Jean.
i was faced with a difficult decision last night. in the end, i chose X-Files and Queer as Folk over Dune, partly because my two previous attempts at understanding the whole Dune thing didn't quite work out, and partly [mainly] because, once X-Files came on, i didn't even think about it.
for those who didn't see QAF:
- the soundtrack was great.
- i'm hoping they do something to fix the Brian character's personality, like train the actor to act.
- the comic-book-reading, semi-geeky, sort-of-cute, career-in-retail Michael character sounds like ...::ahem::... someone i used to know.
- and Sharon Gless was faboo! (sorry, i just couldn't bring myself to say 'fabulous!'). now we just need Tyne to show up.
i'm so tired that i didn't even think to stop reading it, though i care nothing for horse racing. or any other sport for that matter.
Sunday, December 03, 2000
"You look really good in dim light" is not a compliment.
Friday, December 01, 2000
Thursday, November 30, 2000
i now have two $5 TVGBucks now, and if i save up one more, i can get a TVGuide Coffee Mug! woo hooo!
kind of reminds me of those silly ZAPP cards i used to give out for free drinks at wal-mart for things like "Because it's hot" or "Great shoes!"

this is Gengar
last night, i had a dream. in my dream, i owned a little rubber squeeky Gengar. he was rubbery, and when you squeezed him, he squeeked. but someone stole my Gengar, and he wouldn't give him back. finally, i caught the guy and confronted him.
"Give me Gengar!" i shouted.
he threw my squeeky Gengar at me and hit me in the head. i didn't like that. so i opened my mouth and did to him what Godlanna Morrisette did to Ben Affleck in Dogma. his head caved in and his heart exploded, and i got my Gengar. then my alarm went off. now, i want a rubber squeeky Gengar.
was it me, or did she, in bounty hunter guise, make an appearance on Voyager last night?
cool episode though. i was really pissed at Janeway for her stance on Hologram rights. but at the end, i was pissed that she didn't do something nasty to the Doctor to punish him. would have served him right.
mikey has no opinion on the subject. all he knows is that i made him sit through a total of 3 hours of Voyager last night.
Wednesday, November 29, 2000
but to have people calling to find out what happened to me, people sending plants and cards to my mom, which i could then take home for myself.
then show up somewhere that lots of people know me and think i'm dead, and i'd claim i had amnesia. just like on As the World Turns when Craig disappeared in that planecrash off the coast of Greece.
of course, that happened something like 14 years ago. i can't believe i still remember that, but can't remember my mom's phone number.
loved the gratuitous Spike appearance (wait! this episode doesn't have Spike in it anywhere. quick, stick him in somewhere!)
and...
Angel... no shirt.... grrrr! oh yeah, that Darla acceptance of her humanity and adventing death thing was cool too. who knew having a soul could be so nice.
Tuesday, November 28, 2000
i don't speak Spanish. i could fake it, but i'm already doing that with the my English-language work.
what the hell is he thinking?
i don't think i'll be able to learn (or relearn, actually) Spanish in a week, which is when he needs someone.
but maybe i should try to fake my way through it. bilinguists are paid more than monolinguists. i just hope no one is counting on TVGuide en Espanol to be accurate.
MTV rebroadcasted the premiere episode of The Real World: N'awlins, so Mikey made me watch. i can't really complain about that since i make him sit through Buffle Night with me, and often through the X-Files. i didn't know this episode of TRW was 2 (maybe more) hours long though. i stayed up way past my bedtime to watch a bunch of whiney kids whine about how difficult it is to be Them. boo hoo hoo. and fuck off.
it's a good thing the supermarket had my milk this morning. otherwise, i'd be in a bad mood.
Monday, November 27, 2000
porn stars do not neccessarily make good dancers/strippers
thank you for your attention.
hehehe. not really. i was just too cheap to risk the money.
but i seriously did pick those three numbers correctly, and those were the only three i tried. three for three. i think that makes me a psychic. so send me your questions, along with an item that you have carried with you. strangely, large denominations of cash would work best for this.
for entertainment purposed only.
i don't know why things like that crack me up so much. i'm such a geek.
this cracked me up too. [link swiped from Impudite]

