my last name, i've been told, means 'Son of John' in some archaic Flemish way. within the last six generations, i'm not directly descended from a John. therefore, my surname is a misnomer, much as the surnames of many Smiths, Millers, Bakers, and Popes are (i'm certain that everyone named Pope isn't actually a pontif, and i do know a least one Smith who isn't into metalworking). and what about people with names like North, Fry, Tiger, or Pie?

surnames are great for geneological reasons, but wouldn't you rather be known by something more descriptive of who you are? maybe an obvious physical characteristic, like Erik the Red? something more descriptive of your personality, like Ivan the Terrible? a name that commemorates something you've achieved, like William the Conqueror? or maybe one that fools enough people that you're canonized like Edward the Confessor? what makes those guys so great that they get a cool 'the descriptor' name, and i have to settle for a patronymic?

i'm jealous.

so then, what would my descriptive name be? right now, mine would be "Terrence the Pestilent", until i'm fully over this sickness thing i have, then it'd revert back to "Terrence the Pernicious". or "Terrence the Persnickety" (it's appropriate, and a fun word to say), but i'd probably end up with something like "Terrence the Klutz".

what would yours be?

get your weekly dose of Survivor Haiku.

it really sucks when you run out of milk before you run out of bagel. it kind of ruins the bagel for you.

the woman who hired me just came around and handed out these little triangle shaped highlighter pen things that have a different color at each apex. truly, it is nifty.

at Jean's suggestion, i'm adding some "Willow and Tara: witches and lesbians! (aren't they all?)", "Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson: on screen kiss!", and finally, "Who'd win in a fight: Willow or Alyson Hannigan?".

more keywords = more disappointed searchers

visitors have found tolkhan by searching for "Saudi Girls" and "wet t-shirts." i assure you that i have neither here.

i also don't have any photos or streaming video of nude or naked hot horny sexy slutty barely legal teen girls riding bicylces, swimming, playing volleyball, unneccessarily jiggling and bouncing their breasts or lounging around sipping wine and dribbling it down their bras, nor do i have photos of celebrities Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lucy Liu and Chyna mud wrestling in the buff. i do admit that i do have a photo of Xena and Gabriel, but it's not on this website and it's not a "Xena and Gabriel naked!" or "Xena and Gabriel in hot lesbian action!" (eww. it gave me the willies just typing that) image.

let's see how many searches find me now.

who's gonna join me in a chat with The Mole?

you know, i caught bits and pieces of the show at my mom's birthday party, the only time i'd watched any of the series, and i decided that the best thing about the show was Anderson Cooper. everything else annoyed me.

i'm just not a fan of Reality TV Game Shows.

my roommate forced me to listen to some remixes by one of his friends (speaking of which, i would one day like to see one of these "friends". i don't think they actually exist). anyway, the two remixes were "My Heart Will Go On" (uh... like i needed to hear another of those) and the theme to CHiPs.

afterwards, he asked me what i thought. what was i supposed to say? it's Celine Dion and a bad '70s tv theme laid over a 'dance beat'. "Cool" seemed to be the simplest non-commental comment i could make. he accepted it (and took it as a cue to play some more music for me, but i was able to sneak out while his back was turned). i locked myself in my room the rest of the night. no more Celine.

"The building swayed, and I yelled, `Earthquake!' and jumped under a doorway," said Jon Coney of Gov. John Kitzhaber's office.

did he yell out 'earthquake!' in case no one else knew what it was?

today just hasn't been much of a posting day. i think i have the Last Day of the Month Apathies (similiar to the blues, only with less feeling). everyone gets those, right?

i'm managed to complete twice as much work today as i normally do, yet still found time for a two hour nap before lunch. normally, that would make today a good day, but it hasn't.

i think it's because of my family. i spent a few hours with a large portion of them for my mom's, great-grandmother's, and cousin's birthdays party last night. i love my family, but it can be so maddening and depressing when i actually have to interact much with them.

i'd give some details, but the Apathy just booted me upside the head again. i think i'll return to my work.

if my office is on the first floor of a 15 story building, should i be more concerned about a leak from the ceiling above my cubicle?

Buffy: not going to talk about it. still puts me into a weep-like state.

Angel: didn't see it all. i did see Lindsey run over Angel, and Angel smashing his plasto-prosthetic hand. maybe now he'll get that hook that Jean's always wanted him to have.

they do look something like a boy band, don't they?

went to hospital last night. doc says i have a throat infection of some type (though not strep, the only thing he ruled out). additionally, i'm dehydrated. because i went in so late, i had to go through the ER where i waited for four hours. i was, of course, a lower priority than the trauma patients (i'll never understand how these hospitals think).

for now, i'm off to get my meds and go back to bed.

any Animaniacs related anything does the same thing to me.

what's an "industrial-arts high school teacher"? is that the new title for shop teachers? kinda like that year i worked for Hell-Mart as a CMCCS (Consumer Merchandise Conveyor Convergence Specialist), colloquially know as a Cart Gatherer, Stockboy/Stockman, or Cart Jockey?

ok, so, like, you point your phaser at the enemy, shoot him, and he runs away.

beyond the obvious question of where's the fun in that, to use it, must you be face-to-face with or within line-of-sight of your enemy? that'd kind of limit its effectiveness to invasions or defense of cities, wouldn't it?

also, why would you want your enemy to run away like that? it leaves them to fight again sometime when the Trekkies aren't around, or sometime after they developed some other Treknoir-ish technology to defend against it.

i don't see the Marine phasers being a practical weapon of war, unless you can set them for frag, but i'd like to have one for personal use.
[link beamed in from Lots of Co.]

wow. do a search on Yahoo! GeoCities for s_xygirls and you find my blog. i suppose the person in S__di Ar_bia must have been very disappointed by what he found here 'cause we don't do much talking about s_xy w_men.

speaking of S__di Ar_bia, i seem to be gaining popularity with them. i had four unique hits from there this weekend and two repeats. it's probably more likely that tolkhan means something in Ar_bic like "I will send you large sums of cash for no reason!" or maybe someone's telling all his friends "You gotta see the crap this dumbass writes".

eh, either way. i'm still going to write crap, i'm not sending anyone large sums of cash, and we still won't be talking about s_xy g_rls.

ok, so it looks like something from some cheesey Nintendo or Sega game. i still don't understand the whole "All your base are belong to us" phenomenon.

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that i figured out where i contracted malaria (or whatever it is i'm recovering from now). remember that guy i went out with a little over a week ago? we'll, i ran into him Saturday. it seems that he too has been quite ill, with symptoms identical to mine, and he came down with it a full two days before i did. bah! this little Buffy-hating weenie infected me with his illness. bastard.

as i wished him a speedy recovery and turned to leave, he says "i'd still like to take you out again sometime. what are you doing Thursday?"

doh! i'd forgotten that he wanted a second date.

i try to come up with something quickly, but i'm a terrible lier (damn me for preferring honesty!), and i think i could just be brutally honest and say i could never date a Buffy-hating Typhoid Mary, but i have a reputation as a nice guy (though no one who reads this blog would know it), so i have to be gentle, but really, my reputation says i'm a flake, so maybe i could spout off something about a second date being inauspicious and waiting for the proper alignment in the heavens, but like i said i'm a terrible lier, though he probably wouldn't know enough to call me on it, but still i'd rather not do that, and i'd rathernothavetohurthisfeelingsbutwhatelsecanidosoisay "Give me a call later this week."

sometimes i wish i was more of bastard than i actually am.

i did not mean to imply in that last post that i run a meth lab. i do not now nor i have i ever been involved in the production of a controlled substance. i assure you, if i was involved in such an endeavor, i would not be working at such a boring day job, nor would i be driving the Weeniemobile, nor would i be living with a roommate who so thoroughly annoys the hell out me, and i'm quite certain that i would own a lot more pokemon stuff than i actually do.

today is a "quite" day for me. i'm using that word quite often.

for anyone who's ever wondered, honey-lemon TheraFlu tastes nothing like honey or lemon. it's just all around a nasty flavor. i'd rather suck on an aspirin.

last night, i had the lemon flavor nightime formula of TheraFlu. it was only the second time i'd used this product, so i just assumed that 'nighttime' meant that it helps you sleep. after gulping the not-quite-as-nasty-as-honey-lemon drink down, i read the active ingredients on the package. one of them is pseudoephedrine hydrochloride. as any good (i.e. educated) asthmatic would, i recognized it as a bronchodilator. and as anyone running a meth lab can tell you, it keeps you awake.

a nighttime formula that keeps you awake. and i'd just chugged it.

sometime around 2:30 this morning, tired of lying in bed and sweating (something else a bronchodilator does), i got up and watched Cleo use the tarot to help those in need (such a wonderful, selfless woman).

at 3:30, i went back to bed and finally fell asleep. i promptly began dreaming of the house my grandparents moved out of when i was 7, giant spiders, ancient Mesopotamian curses and Mayan temples (complete with nearly unsolvable puzzles, modern elevators, and floorshows on the main level. i swear, i didn't take anything other than the TheraFlu).

happy me still made it to work at 7:00 (quite a feat considering that i don't have to be here until 9:00). i may be a little grouchy today, but i doubt anyone will notice the difference.

i should get to work. missing four days of an already short month can't be good for my productivity numbers.