my last name, i've been told, means 'Son of John' in some archaic Flemish way. within the last six generations, i'm not directly descended from a John. therefore, my surname is a misnomer, much as the surnames of many Smiths, Millers, Bakers, and Popes are (i'm certain that everyone named Pope isn't actually a pontif, and i do know a least one Smith who isn't into metalworking). and what about people with names like North, Fry, Tiger, or Pie?

surnames are great for geneological reasons, but wouldn't you rather be known by something more descriptive of who you are? maybe an obvious physical characteristic, like Erik the Red? something more descriptive of your personality, like Ivan the Terrible? a name that commemorates something you've achieved, like William the Conqueror? or maybe one that fools enough people that you're canonized like Edward the Confessor? what makes those guys so great that they get a cool 'the descriptor' name, and i have to settle for a patronymic?

i'm jealous.

so then, what would my descriptive name be? right now, mine would be "Terrence the Pestilent", until i'm fully over this sickness thing i have, then it'd revert back to "Terrence the Pernicious". or "Terrence the Persnickety" (it's appropriate, and a fun word to say), but i'd probably end up with something like "Terrence the Klutz".

what would yours be?