grocery shopping yesterday wasn't the food buying extravaganza i thought it would be. i only spent $21. i just didn't know what to buy. i ended up only with eggs, milk, a stuffed salmon something or other, and a vegetarian steak with mushroom ickiness. everytime i picked something up, i realized that i no longer remember any recipes to use that item, so i got nothing that would require me to be imaginative and creative, until i can get some cookbooks (to avoid being imaginative and creative).

i did, however, inadvertently choose what has to be the queerest supermarket in tulsa. i'm certain that, had a fire started in the store and everyone was forced to run out to the parking lot, only the lack of a large rainbow flag and two dozen lesbians on Harleys would have distinguished us from a Pride parade.

after leaving the supermarket, i drove to Borders, thinking to pick up a couple of books to help me remember how to cook. instead of cookbooks, though, i took home one of the booksellers. after a quick hour, i politely showed him the door, saying mechanically and unconvincingly that, yes, indeed, i would call him sometime, and remembering idly that if i had some pasta, parmesan, and parsley, i could make fettuccine alfredo.

don't contemporary sports team names usually evoke images of some kind of ferocity, viciousness, power or preternatural fortitude? please explain to me why anyone would call their team the Beef? it's not terribly intimidating. it may make your opponents hungry, i guess, which would be a distraction, i guess. i think this one is just a bad marketing decision.

there was a new episode of The Lone Gunmen on last night, though the season (and series) finale was a few weeks ago. i had no idea that it was going to be on, and i almost missed it. thankfully, i was watching the Simpsons right before it and saw the preview.

and you know what? it's too bad Fox cancelled this show. it's good, and i've liked the series from the beginning, but last night's episode was great. Yves kicked some ass, and she didn't use any high tech devices to take down her opponent. she used her fists and a great little boot-to-the-head move to take down the traitorous rose-colored-glasses-wearing bitch.

we got a tantalizing little bit with Yves in which, it seems, we see that she isn't hiding her identity to protect herself or just to have a Kewl Anagram Name, but that she's doing it out of fear or shame. finally, some more character development for Yves. also, she shows concern for Jimmy, not once, but twice in this episode, the second time worrying that he may be dead after being struck with a dart containing the Chinese Poison of Death.

Yves is warming up to Jimmy too. she backed off of the insulting comments and (not so) subtle allusions to his dumb-as-rocksness. Yves and Jimmy really work well together, her worldly, intelligent skankiness complementing his innocent, not-so-bright naivety. actually, because of the ass-kicking, and the character development, and the concern for Jimmy, i'll stop calling Yves a skank. she's turning out to be a cool character. she needs to keep in mind, though, that Jimmy is mine, and she'd do well to keep her hands off of him.

of course, none of this matters anymore since the show has been cancelled, though i'm sure there will be plenty of shows like "Not Really Interesting Police Videos" and "When the Elderly Attack" to fill in the space left in the schedule.

hey! guess what i get to do tonight for the first time in 4 years. i get to go grocery shopping! woo hoo!

i didn't buy groceries in the last couple of years because my roommate would have eaten everything. before that, Brian did all the shopping while we were together. 4 years is a long time. i'll need to warm up the Unit Pricing/Comparative Shopping Lobe of my brain. oooo! i can buy eggplant again! i can bake my own bread! i can have theme nights without going to an ethnic-themed restaurant!

groceries lead to cooking! hooray! i can eat the foods *i* like! i haven't had onions since i met Brian. he hates onions. but he's gone and i can cook foods with them again! being single has its advantages.

the First Lady's advice:

If your daughter(s) drink too much, it is probably best to avoid remonstration when they get home if it will inevitably lead to the typical teenage comeback "Well, at least I didn't KILL my boyfriend while driving drunk like you did Mother!" What mother hasn't dreaded those words?

[tall frosty one served by Hobbsblog]

i missed the TVGuide Online talk with Joss about the musical episode of Buffy (about which i get a little giddy whenever i think of it), but Jean has pointed towards it. i'm saddened though that this ep, the sixth of season six, will air in November, because that means the season premiere will be late September or early October instead of the August i've been hoping for.

bwahahahaha! the sport statues crack me up. try this one.
[thank you Mefi for the laugh]

headline: Jeffords reports death threats in wake of defection. fortunately, the White House stationery it was written on has given the police a lead on the identity of the threat-maker.

usually, a film has to be successful before it's turned into a cartoon, right? so why the Battlefield Earth: Animated Series, with Terl voiced by Grizzly Adams?

if you're like me and want to see Faith kicking some butt, than this rumor should make you happy: Eliza Dushku mentioned as possibility for Wonder Woman movie.

zoinks! the print version of TVGuide has a description of Joss Whedon's eight issue comic book mini-series Fray:

... it follows the exploits of a future slayer and professional thief. Set hundreds of years after the Scooby Gang's adventures, Melaka Fray is called to stake and bake a new wave of vampires and demons... "[Frey] inhabits the vast slums of a Manhatten gone wild. "The idea of magic is completely foreign to her. She's just a girl who has no idea she's the slayer," says Whedon.

ok, so this probably isn't news to those who hang out on one of the multitude of Buffy forums, but it is to me. i may have to get back into comic books for eight issues. Frey is set to hit newstands June 6.

double zoinks! here's much more information over at the Dark Horse website

heh. if the governor signs it, Oklahoma will have Agricultural Police. i wonder if we'll be seeing an episode of Cops featuring them.

"Freeze!! Drop the lasso and back away from the cow slowly!" *patting down the suspect* "you got anything on you i should know about? spurs? a bola tie maybe?"

Agpol scored a major victory yesterday against the illegal Stetson trade with the arrest of two Faux Western Wear Kingpins."

in investigating a 5 year old unsolved rape and murder, Oklahoma City police have decided to canvas the area using genetic means.

In their search for John Doe, police took blood from 200 men and compared their DNA to that of the man who left behind semen in Busken's car. There were no matches... Most of the 200 men tested so far gave their blood voluntarily, but prosecutors obtained search warrants in a few cases where people declined to provide the sample..."Police are basically saying, `If we pop a needle into enough arms we're bound to get lucky sooner or later."

if i'd had enough sleep last night, i'm sure i would have launched into a rant about unreasonable search and seizure, fascism, and a police force given far too much latitude.

"If you don't want to give your DNA, you've got something to hide," said [father of the victim] Bud Busken... "I'll stand by that until my dying day."

fuck you, pops. i didn't know the girl, didn't live in the area, and am a homosexual, but i still wouldn't voluntarily give a sample for genetic testing. cops aren't allowed to go fishing when looking for evidence.

also, let's all keep in mind that this is the same crime lab that has recently been in the news for an evidence misidentification scandal.

Numfar! "The man behind Buffy reveals all about cameos, action figures and the Cheese Man."

the Random Goth Cat Name Generator.

even Jellicle cats need Goth names.

in an effort to knock Texas out of the top spot, Oklahoma held it's 13th execution of 2001 on Tuesday night.

ok, i don't like large vehicles, often for aesthetic reasons, usually for environmental type reasons, but, by george, i'd buy one of these in a heartbeat.

With its bulletproof glass, grenade launcher, laser gun and the ability to foil pursuers with oil slicks and smoke screens, the Army's new SmarTruck is a vehicle worthy of James Bond.

i should work on getting all my Buffy and Angel links into a single post.

Harmony news! "In Harmony's last appearance on Angel, she joined a vampire cult. "They ended up cutting the final scene of [the episode]--I was in Mexico, recruiting people for the cult."

i love Harmony. i know she's not often taken seriously, but i think she has real potential at being a major baddie or a force for good (Jean and i have had discussions about Harmony and redemption. i'd love to see Harmony on the path to redemption, faltering often along the way, but making the attempt nonetheless).

and here's some Kate news. i've been wondering about her. she hasn't been seen since that whole "I never invited you in" line to Angel, but now it looks like she has herself a more regular gig somewhere else.

why is it that everytime i read mention of IML, it takes me a few moments to untranspose ("distranspose"? how 'bout "unscramble"?) the letters in my head and realize that they're not talking about film special effects?

i'm pretty sure i blogged this already, but i think i screwed the link up, so i'm putting it here again (not the screwed up link. the overall target of the linkage).

mucho thanks go out to Max for giving me something Buffy related to blog.

dunno how old this is, but it cracks me up:

There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the "Hokey Pokey", died last week at 83. The most traumatic part for the family was getting him in the coffin. They put his left leg in and then things just started to go downhill from there.

see Stan's Joke Emporium for more.

oh look. Rich is alive after all. i wish to say to him "Happy Birthday!" and "if you think 23 sucks, just remember that you'll be 30 in no time!" (there's nothing wrong with thirty. i'm looking forward to it).

while i was packing up the last of my stuff monday, i found a Celine Dion cassette. i haven't bought a cassette since 1993 (when i bought an Animaniacs cassette because the album hadn't been released on CD). back in 1993, i didn't know who Celine Dion was. i don't know where the cassette came from, but it's a little unnerving. i think it's some sort of omen. i'll need to find someone who can interpret it for me. maybe one of the kids at Sam Goody.

vicious rainstorms (yay!) last night caused me to be 90 minutes late for work (boo!). now i'm going to be alone here after everyone else leaves this afternoon (eek!). this place gets scary in the evenings.

ack. i moved over the weekend. the only thing i haven't moved to my new apartment is my computer. i'm holding on to that DSL as long as i can because i won't have internet access at home at all for a while (unless i get enough financial backing for my film. see post immediately below this one, and send in your CASH contributions today!) fortunately, i was able to download several Buffy episodes this weekend, and i'll still be able to get online at work.

the upstairs neighbor at the new place is, i believe, quite insane. i caught him staring in my big glass door three times. he yelled at me, "Turn down that goddamned music, you moron!" there was no music playing. he also talks about himself in the plural. i don't think he's doing it in the Queen 'Lizabeth Royal Personage kind of way. i think it's more in the Me-and-the-Other-Personalities kind of way.

i'm sure this is going to be a fun-filled adventure in Apartment Living.

i have decided that i'd like to move forward with the film idea that Jean and i kicked around during our time at OU. i've already begun work on the sequel (actually, i've gone no further than coming up with a title, which is also the extent reached for the first one). i am soliciting backers for both films, and also the planned third film to complete the trilogy (planned, insofar as i'm planning to have a third installment).

please send me money so i can play with video equipment and swords, and so i can quit my current ho-hum job. i promise to invite all backers to a free half-price first screening, and i'll even buy popcorn for everyone.

i used to be a convenience store clerk too (in fact, i used to complain that my life was a Kevin Smith movie), which is part of why i blogged the story about the clerk's murder. it was certainly one of the most interesting jobs i've had. graveyard shift, which usually left me with plenty of time to read, but with the occasional event to liven it up, like nearly being jumped for a carton of cigarettes. or having a can of beer thown into my chest. or twelve year old kids doing grab-and-runs with cases of beer (neighborhood kids that i saw frequently, and knew their parents. not terribly bright boys, i'd say). drunks passing out on the front sidewalk. hookers offering to "take care of me" in exchange for fountain sodas(!). inebriated women offering money if i'd take my shirt off for them (easy twenty dollars). inebriated men offering to "get with me" in the back room (i worked down the street from a club). a married man stalking me. and big scary guys with even scarier tattoos yelling at me about their jobs and/or girlfriend (i guess they just needed someone to talk to). *sigh* the memories...

i'd never do it again. retail sucks anyway, but to be a convenience store clerk sucks even harder.

everyone be nice to them. you never know when you'll be reading about them in the paper (not to make any clerks who may be reading this nervous).

Sunday night, the nightly news came on with the line "In Medical Breakthroughs tonight: If you drink coffee, you may want to see this report before you have that second cup."

as a beginner coffee drinker, i thought that i should see if my new addiction may be causing cancer or curing infertility or something. the story, of course, was buried deep in the newscast, between the weather and sports, so i had to watch nearly the whole program (i hate local newscasts. too many Human Interest Stories, too little real news). finally, they get to the Medical Breakthroughs section, and i shall now summarize the report for you:

drinking coffee may cause a need for urination

seriously. that's what it came down to. not even a 'may cause you to urinate more frequently'. just that it may make you go pee. 'Coffee contains caffeine. Caffeine is a diuretic. Diuretics make you urinate.' hard hitting stuff. believe it or not, this station actually wins Emmys.

next week's story will be summarized as "Not eating may make you hungry."