yippee! my boss just gave me a TVGuide Bucks thing that's worth $5 cash at the TVGuide gift shop! on the back, he wrote "In recognition of: Great Attitude and Work Habits" ::snicker:: i don't think anyone's ever said i had a great attitude. it's only because i stay in my cubical way in the back where noone sees me.

i now have two $5 TVGBucks now, and if i save up one more, i can get a TVGuide Coffee Mug! woo hooo!

kind of reminds me of those silly ZAPP cards i used to give out for free drinks at wal-mart for things like "Because it's hot" or "Great shoes!"

this is Gengar

last night, i had a dream. in my dream, i owned a little rubber squeeky Gengar. he was rubbery, and when you squeezed him, he squeeked. but someone stole my Gengar, and he wouldn't give him back. finally, i caught the guy and confronted him.

"Give me Gengar!" i shouted.

he threw my squeeky Gengar at me and hit me in the head. i didn't like that. so i opened my mouth and did to him what Godlanna Morrisette did to Ben Affleck in Dogma. his head caved in and his heart exploded, and i got my Gengar. then my alarm went off. now, i want a rubber squeeky Gengar.

you remember the beginning of Return of the Jedi, when Leia is in Jabba's palace disguised as that bounty hunter guy?

was it me, or did she, in bounty hunter guise, make an appearance on Voyager last night?

cool episode though. i was really pissed at Janeway for her stance on Hologram rights. but at the end, i was pissed that she didn't do something nasty to the Doctor to punish him. would have served him right.

mikey has no opinion on the subject. all he knows is that i made him sit through a total of 3 hours of Voyager last night.

you know, it'd be really kinda cool if someone with the same name as me died. well, not cool. not like that anyway.

but to have people calling to find out what happened to me, people sending plants and cards to my mom, which i could then take home for myself.

then show up somewhere that lots of people know me and think i'm dead, and i'd claim i had amnesia. just like on As the World Turns when Craig disappeared in that planecrash off the coast of Greece.

of course, that happened something like 14 years ago. i can't believe i still remember that, but can't remember my mom's phone number.

ha ha! i scored a perfect 12 of 12 on the Citizenship Test thingie, which might be a bit strange since i'm a borderline anarchist.

the fresh carton of milk i bought this morning was sour. that makes me grumpy.

the milk thing really has me down, so here's the extent of my Buffle review:

loved the gratuitous Spike appearance (wait! this episode doesn't have Spike in it anywhere. quick, stick him in somewhere!)

and...

Angel... no shirt.... grrrr! oh yeah, that Darla acceptance of her humanity and adventing death thing was cool too. who knew having a soul could be so nice.

no, i wasn't ignoring you. actually, after i emailed you this morning and you didn't reply, i thought that maybe you'd taken a sick day or something. glad to find out it was just email problems.

my boss is toying with the idea of having me do some work for the Spanish Language TVGuide.

i don't speak Spanish. i could fake it, but i'm already doing that with the my English-language work.

what the hell is he thinking?

i don't think i'll be able to learn (or relearn, actually) Spanish in a week, which is when he needs someone.

but maybe i should try to fake my way through it. bilinguists are paid more than monolinguists. i just hope no one is counting on TVGuide en Espanol to be accurate.

Citizens Against Needles In Bread Awareness? there's actually a need for this group?

MTV rebroadcasted the premiere episode of The Real World: N'awlins, so Mikey made me watch. i can't really complain about that since i make him sit through Buffle Night with me, and often through the X-Files. i didn't know this episode of TRW was 2 (maybe more) hours long though. i stayed up way past my bedtime to watch a bunch of whiney kids whine about how difficult it is to be Them. boo hoo hoo. and fuck off.

it's a good thing the supermarket had my milk this morning. otherwise, i'd be in a bad mood.

Old [phone books] make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names of all the people you do not know.

(update 6/02/05: i am so BAD! lack of attribution should be a flogging offense. I shall now go flog myself)

Not-So-Important-But-Nevertheless-Interesting-To-Me Lesson Learned This Weekend

porn stars do not neccessarily make good dancers/strippers

thank you for your attention.

i went to a casino boat this weekend while i was in St Louis. standing at the roulette table, i picked three numbers in a row that turned out to be what the ball stopped at. at a minimum bet of $5, paying out at 35 to one, that's $175 each won. "woo hoo for me!" you say? nah. i didn't bet. damn me and my moral stance against gambling!

hehehe. not really. i was just too cheap to risk the money.

but i seriously did pick those three numbers correctly, and those were the only three i tried. three for three. i think that makes me a psychic. so send me your questions, along with an item that you have carried with you. strangely, large denominations of cash would work best for this.

for entertainment purposed only.

Polly-Warner-Cracker! ha!

i don't know why things like that crack me up so much. i'm such a geek.

this cracked me up too. [link swiped from Impudite]

even better than christmas, and i missed it.

the supermarket was out of chocolate skim milk again. what a fucking suckey way to start the week.