hooray for Friday. Friday is a good day.

but not as good as next Friday. next Friday is good in the way that people will be giving me gifts and buying lunch and dinner for me.

won't you be one of those people who'll buy me something? pleeease buy me something! i like gifts, and I like people who buy me gifts! really, i do. i'll stop talking bad about you behind your back, i'll stop selling your email address to spammers, i'll stop calling members of your family at 3 a.m. and hanging up on them, and i promise that i'll stop pretending to be you when i send threatening email to members of Congress and the President. scout's honor.