Hundreds of sharks spotted off Florida. it appears that the Rokea are amassing. they're tired of us dumping our trash into their home. they're about to invade us.

the worst thing about all this shark business is that it'll replay visions of Jaws in everyone's minds, they'll get all sared, and then do stupid things to hunt/trap/repel/destroy sharks, first in coastal touristy waters, then later in the open ocean. sharks are modern society's equivalent to medieval society's wolf (well, sharks share that modern distinction with the wolf, because there are people who still blame the wolf for all their woes. apparently, those little wolves are crafty).

in conclusion, the extinction of any shark species should be blamed on Steven Spielberg. and wolves too.

and when the devil did Hell-Mart start selling roleplaying books?

i have a solution for the cloning hullabaloo. let us turn our back for a while, allowing a small group of someones to try it, work out the mistakes, and try again. then, no matter the outcome, we'll denounce them as Evil Mad Scientists and say they're going to Hell for their Evil Ways. then, we can sleep better knowing that the monsters have been exposed and properly condemned, their Evil Deeds known, and that we can take their Evil Research and use it for Good Purposes, thereby perverting the Evil into Good.

because those who would say those scientists are going to hell have already decided that i'm going to hell, i volunteer to be one of those researchers (two birds with one stone, and all that). to be effective, i should probably get a degree in genetics or biochemistry or something life-sciencey related, so i'll need people to fund and sponsor me at university. heck, to be sure you'll be condemning only the best, go ahead and put me through med school. remember, your support of my education will help you sleep better, you'll reap the benefits of any discoveries made along the way, and you'll have me as a convenient scapegoat.

Dot Com: The Musical

much weirdness in the world
[electoral laughs sponsored by I Shoot With My Mind]

balanced by some goodness.
[via Redcricket]

i caught an episode of ST:TNG on Sunday. it was a first season ep, "Hide and Q," and in it, Worf gets to fight some nasty looking aliens in Napoleonic France-era uniforms. for a guy who's supposed to be a warrior, and from a warrior culture, he sure fights like a weiner. he'd, like, throw a punch, then stand there like he didn't know what to do next. he was skewered pretty quickly, and would have been dead if not for Riker's Q-given powers. it was really sad (on a happy note, Wesley was skewered too. sadly he was healed also).

after that, the WB reaired the Buffy ep "The Gift." Buffy did a much better job of kicking ass. she fights a lot better, and though she died too, at least she won the fight first, and against a Hellgod, no less.

so (you see where this is going, right?), the Warrior from the Warrior planet and the Warrior species who regard glorious, honorable battle above all else would sooo get his ass kicked by the 20 year old California girl.

sometimes, while i'm listening to a cd here at work, i go to type an email as a good song comes on, and i end up clacking the keys in rhythm to the song, like i'm a pianist, complete with crescendo and decrescendo, as appropriate. my co-workers find this annoying, and it's probably not good for the keyboard either.

a trailer for 13 Ghosts is up. the movie may be good, it may suck, but there are or will be way too many ghosties on the large and small screen. ghosts are the "In" thing this year

anyone else like to play with Currency Converters? i can take my paycheck tomorrow and head off to Djibouti with eighty thousand Djibouti Francs, or go to Ulan Bator and have more than a six hundred thousand Mongolian Tugriks, or to Freetown, Sierra Leone and have nearly a million Leones. yay! do they get Buffy in Sierra Leone? eh, doesn't matter, since it'd probably be dubbed, and i can't speak Sierra Leonese.

who's Zia McCabe?

sounds like a scene from Pee-wee's Playhouse, except no Laurence Fishburne.

from the archives of TomPaine.com, a little reading to keep me occupied while i have no work:
 ¬The Beijing Olympics and the (Mis)Uses of History. Will the 2008 Games Democratize China?
 ¬The New and Improved President. Forget Policy -- Bush Wants Fuzzy, Feel-Good Phrases.
 ¬A New Look At Pearl Harbor
 ¬The Sound and the Furious. A Writer Tries to Escape Our Culture of Noise.
 ¬Why Can't Americans Swim in Effluent?. Iceland's 21st Century Energy Policy.
 ¬The Neglected Facts for last week.

don't you hate when you're reading an article, and it seems to be a good article, and it feels like it's building up to something big and thought provoking, something that's gonna make you furrow your brow and shake your head and say "wow!", then suddenly it ends, and ends poorly without that moment of wowness?

ok, so this editorial isn't quite so thought provoking or wowing, but i was really disappointed by the last paragraph anyway. if you're gonna make a point about something, don't resort to stale soundbites, please. it doesn't have any punch, it's lazy thinking, and it irks me.

Ain't It Cool News "reported the rumor that the project [Batman: Year One] has been squashed because Warner Brothers instead wants to build a franchise out of a proposed film teaming up Superman and the caped crusader that would eventually lead to a series of Justice League of America movies" they also say that "John Travolta might be in line to put on Superman's cape opposite George Clooney's Batman." [i quoted SciFi Wire on this]

i'm not even going to entertain the possibility that this is true. nope. can't, because the whole idea sucks that much, and though Warner Bros has disappointed me so much lately, i still have to believe that they-who-own-the-rights-to-Animaniacs will redeem themselves.

whadya say? AOL owns them now?

good god, it's gonna suck.

another Buffy entry:

Buffy Star Snipes At Emmys . Whedon says "It's Ripper, not Watcher." concerning questions of continuity between animated and live action Buffy, he also says Dawn will be part of the animated Buffy "because the Monks changed history." and Marti Noxon Talks Buffy Rumors.

Dog lovers threaten World Cup boycott over the consumption and trade of dog meat.

methinks they should mind their own business first.

Shpadoinkle! Tales of the Slayer, to be released November 28, will include stories written by Joss (the Primitive), David Fury (Old West Slayer), Doug Petrie (Nikki the '70s Slayer), Amber Benson (French Revolution Slayer) and, lastly, Joss again (Fray). yay!

Big Buffy entry:

picked up a Buffy Shooter Saturday, along with the newest issue of Fray. in Fray #3, "Melaka learns some of the history of the Slayers and comes to understand a little about what it means to her, " including why there hasn't been a Slayer or vampires since the 21st century.

i also thumbed through the current issue of the BTVS comic. it was interesting seeing how Dawn had helped to save Buffy's life after the Master left Buffy for dead. i've been curious about how events were different (in everyone's minds at least) with the addition of Dawn, but i still didn't buy the comic. i hate joining storylines mid-story, but i'll probably go back for this one, now that i know it was the first of a four issue arc dealing (a little, at least) with the false memories built to include Dawn in a world in which Dawn didn't exist at the time (i, btw, have my own view on the whole "Dawn's only been here for six months" thing).

also, ran across the summer issue of Buffy the magazine. interviews with Emma Caulfield and Clare Kramer, and a brief Q&A with David Boreanaz that makes me want to avoid anything about him unless it's about him in character as Angel. putz. oooh! there's also a Wesley poster in the middle! hooray!

there's something both a little wrong and extremely amusing about running across a television program called "Wildlife Views: Condors/Dutch Oven Cooking."

i'm feeling microbial today. it may all that food that's been lying around for 8 hours now that people are still munching on. can't be healthful.

Microbe Warfare Hides the Enemy
[New York Times article. free registration required]

"Only by planning and preparing will we be able to diminish the likelihood that biological weapons will be used, and reduce the risks if they are." —Biological Warfare: A Nation at Risk--A Time to Act by the Honorable Richard Danzig.
ok, so this one is five years old. its points are still valid.

All the Virology on the WWW. that may be an exaggeration, but it's still got lots o' links.

Chemical & Biological Weapons Resource Page at the Center For Nonproliferation Studies. there's even a nifty little chart showing a list of nations who have, may have, or have had biological or chemical weapons. notice that the Canadians are said to be "former" possessors of weapons and programs. i'll bet they still have them and are developing even more in their bid for world conquest. Canadians are evil!

Constitutional Problems with Enforcing the Biological Weapons Convention, September 28, 2000, by Ronald D. Rotunda, visiting senior fellow in constitutional studies at the Cato Institute.

i wanna be a Special Agent at the FBI. they make it sound so exciting. if only i had motivation and ambition, i too could kick in doors, tap people's phone calls, and hold people at gunpoint. legally, i mean.

the Dred Pirate Roberts joins the X-Files. aarrggh!

today is not a day for working. i didn't sleep well last night, we have very little work coming to us, and our new department is having a "Food Day" to welcome us to their group (we were consolidated during the recent Reorganization). there's so much food that they're begging us to eat and eat. the only thing that looks good is the green marshmallowey stuff. except for the salad and marshmallowey stuff, everything is fried or creamy. no fruit at all.

all i want is a couple of strawberries and a nap.

"In this day and age of stagnant comic book franchises, where origin revisions and shock value are rampant, the core Batman titles have taken a different approach to presenting the Dark Knight Detective in three different stories every month."

an article on why "Batman is quite possibly one of the most exciting comic book characters."

did anyone else think that the most interesting thing about el presidente's speech last night was the flies buzzing around his head? did anyone else watch it?

a Catwoman movie without Selena Kyle?

hey, this is good news: Group says 17 deaths may be from recalled asthma inhalers.

The inhalers were sold under the brand names Proventil and Warrick. Schering-Plough said on March 29, 2000, that it was recalling those brands of prescription albuterol inhalers made before Sept. 30, 1999, “as a precaution to address the remote possibility that an aerosol inhaler may not contain active drug.”

September 30, 1999 was about the time i started using my Warrick inhaler. i'm still alive though, so i guess mine wasn't one of the defective ones, but it would have been nice to have known about the recall before today.
[easier breathing courtesy of oliverwillis.com]

from The Simpsons: WhatBadgersEat.com

i know i've been ignoring news articles or reports containing the words "Congressional" and "Intern", but i'm still a bit suprised that i haven't heard about this:

A Death in the Congressman's Office

"FORT WALTON BEACH, FLa. - Lori Klausutis, a 28-year-old office worker for Rep. Joe Scarborough (R-Fl), was found dead in the congressman's district office. Police said preliminary findings from the medical examiner's office showed no foul play or any outward indication of suicide."

a sample of articles:

July 21st -- Scarborough aide found dead in office. No indication of foul play, police say.
July 27th -- Aide's cause of death still not released. Six days after the 28-year-old aide to U.S. Rep. Joe Scarborough was found dead inside the congressman's Fort Walton Beach office, local police are still waiting to learn how and why Klausutis died.
July 28th -- Aide's death still a mystery. The autopsy also was not conclusive, though the medical examiner did say that there was no evidence of foul play.
August 7th -- Heart problem contributed to aide's death. Medical examiner says woman hit her head during fall, killing her.

something i hadn't thought of before: WWF Erotic Fanfic

Texas executes 11th inmate this year.

Oklahoma has already executed 14 people this year, has two more scheduled for the end of the month, and two pending (information about the condemned Gerardo Valdez, scheduled to be executed on August 30th, can be found here at the Oklahoma Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty website).

One-fourth of all executions in Oklahoma since reinstatement occurred in less than 90 days during 2001. go Governor Keating! way to idolize Bush-era Texas!

Bush hammers home faith-based initiative.

the most irritating thing about this article isn't that El Presidente only made a 15 minute appearance at the Habitat For Humanity construction site, or that he spent part of that 15 minutes making a brief speech, nor even that it was basically just a photo op for his Forced Conversion Initiative... the most irritating thing is the lame-assed punned title. whoever came up with it should be fired.

early this morning, i had a dream that the Southern Christian Leadership Conference filed a lawsuit against a group of crickets that live just outside my bedroom window. the SCLC argued that the crickets has violated someone's First Amendment rights and should be stomped. Dan Rather was broadcasting from the foot of my bed, interviewing SCLC representatives when the announcement came that the Supreme Court would hear the arguments. the crickets had no spokesperson and were unavailable for comment. during the arguments before the Supreme Court, the crickets did nothing but chirp. the Justices ruled against them and they were visciously stomped right there. Justice O'Connor cried. the rumor going around was that her father was a cricket.

this dream told me two things:

1) i should drink less soy milk before bed.
2) i should find some way to drown out the chirping of the crickets outside my window. it was really irritating me.

if anyone into interpreting dreams wants to take a crack at it, let me know what you find out.

remember the tektites? the were one of the baddies in the original Legend of Zelda game for Nintendo (tektites may have appeared in the sequels, but i haven't played them to know). tektites are cool.

i overslept this morning, and in my rush to get to work, i didn't pay a lot of attention to styling my hair. a few quick strokes with the brush, an even quicker flip at the front, and i was out the door.

a visit to the restroom a few moments ago showed me that i, even when very late, should probably take a little more time on the hair (and less time admonishing Orange Cat not to vomit or attack his sister) before leaving the house. because of the way my hair curls slightly in the front and tends to stand straight up above the temples, i have these two medium-sized horns jutting from my head. i look like i'm about to face a guy dressed in tight gold trousers and waistcoast with a cape, or like i hang out with Belial after work (being unshaven probably doesn't help me there).

Swedish censors have given Steven Spielberg's A.I. Artificial Intelligence its highest rating, barring anyone younger than 15 from seeing the film, Variety reported.

"We feel that sensitive kids could be really scared and as a result suffer damage," censor Jonas Wall.

heh. taken from this Sci Fi Wire report taken from Variety.

Trees. It's bite is worse than it's bark!

yep, i gotta see this. i can take comfort in knowing it can't possibly be worse than Coyote Ugly.

it's like the Ewoks vs. the Empire. Inuit community takes on NMD in Greenland.

missed this one yesterday: Man sentenced for stock market hoax

idiot.

clones can be sorta kinda cool (but not always).

cloning the undead is really cool.

on the clone thing, monozygous/identical twins aren't always "identical".

"We must advance the promise and cause of science but do so in a way that honors and respects life," Bush said.

what the hell does that mean? and would military weapon research be considered to honor and respect life?

i don't know what all the cloning hullabaloo is about. i haven't heard any arguments against cloning that have a basis in rational thought. it's always some sort of ethical or religious argument, more or less exhibiting a fear of the loss of individuality (or at least questioning what it means to be an individual) or railing that we're arrogantly placing ourselves on the same level as God. it's all poppycock. somehow, i doubt that the basis for divinity is the ability to clone, especially since some species have been doing it for a long time.

TV Japan in Canada has a show called Samurai Drama. why can't the US networks have cool sounding programs like that?

also last night, as i was going to bed, a guy who used to live in the same building i now live in called (he needs a name based on a distinguishing characteristic: Scoliosis Guy). he was in the area and wanted to drop buy for a few minutes. after letting him in and having him sit, i went to the kitchen for a glass of ginger ale and walked back to the living room where Scoliosis Guy was then lying naked on my couch. he's tried something like that twice (though never so bold) before. each time i've refused his offer and told him that i'm not interested in him.

i told him to get dressed and get out. on his way out the door, he says "I still wants to cook dinner for you sometime."

he still doesn't get it. how, without using a lead pipe or a firearm, do you convince someone who won't listen that you're not interested in him?

no no no. go away.

so, i finally finished Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn last night. this is quite an acomplishment for me, if you take into consideration how bored i was with the game. it's not bad game, but it's rigged to give Good-Aligned players all the advantages, while the Evil-Aligned ones suffer annoying consequences. the final battle at the end was a bit cheesey and the Tests of Character you have to go through to get to the Master Villain have rewards for the good characters and punishments for the evil characters. it really isn't all that fair, considering your character is the offspring of the God of Murder and Icky Things.

now that i've finished it, it's time to move on to the expansion and to get ready for the sequel.

i have a sudden craving for a Skor candy bar.

some funny (if dated) stuff here, especially pleasing to me because i live in the state that sent Largeant, Coburn and Watts to the Capitol.

heh.

ok, UPN has some new, post-Buffy's-death promos with the Scoobies, and you can find them online now: here's Dawn, Xander and Anya, and Spike.

just to let everyone know:

1) the Buffy premiere has been moved up a week to October 2nd. i have no idea why, but i'm very glad for it. too little Buffy makes Terrence very grumpy.

2) Ritalin Junkie is back up, and she's simplified. yay

although "always shoot to kill" policies are great for stopping an advancing threat (and for striking fear into the hearts of the not-so-wicked), wouldn't, say, shooting an attacker in the leg be the better option for officers just to cut down on the amount of paperwork and to reduce the likelihood of being prosecuted for manslaughter?

and since i'm asking questions about old French stuff, why are the Three Musketeers called musketeers when they don't carry muskets? [this and the last post, btw, are the latest entries in my "Things That Keep Me Up at Night" series]

why is Javert so obsessed with tracking down Valjean? he chases him for decades or something. really, all that for a parole violation by a guy whose crime was to gank some Iron Kids? please.

the Ice Cream Layoff Warning System has failed. my boss was just "Reorganized" out of a job, and we didn't get ice cream first.

the path the Downsizing and Reorganization are taking does not look good for me. my department's function is completely duplicated in Pennsylvania. there are about a dozen of us here, and a few score of them there. we're probably next, but, by god, i want ice cream first.

last night, as i was driving home, i started craving pizza. i haven't had pizza since last summer, but it sounded really good. shortly after i got home, my sister called. while i was talking to her, the pizza she had ordered was delivered. i decided that i must have pizza.

i ordered one (geez, they've gone up since i'd last had one). when it was delivered, i readied myself for maximum pizza engorgement. i ate my fill. i ate until i couldn't eat another bite, that point at which even thinking about it will make you sick. i ate... one piece. for some reason, that was all it took. and now i have a large pizza, minus one piece, sitting in my fridge.

if anyone's hungry, wants a free meal, and doesn't mind leftovers, just drop by tonight and the pizza's yours.

been trying to avoid politics lately (national, anyway. still keeping up on state, damn Keating to Hades), but here's a quick in-and-out:

there are those who argue that, by calling Florida for Gore before polls closed, the television networks caused thousands of GOP voters to give up and not cast their votes. but wouldn't that also keep Gore voters from going to the polls. they thought their candidate had already won. why bother voting then? and, if you were serious about casting your vote and heard during polling hours that the opposition candidate was winning, wouldn't you run right out and vote, just in case it might help?

United Way commandos have taken over the employee lounge. they're serving pancakes to those who buy tickets, thereby supporting the United Way (and various other groups through them). i had issues with the United Way before this, but now, they won't let me into the lounge unless i pay them $3. all i want is a cup of coffee. the bastards think they can extort money from me. when did it become okay for charities to turn to extortion (besides the guilt-extortion thing they've always done)?

aren't lemurs the coolest little prosimians? they're probably the coolest primates of all too, and i'd say coolest mammal, but i think i like monotremes and raccoons better.

the first lemur link has three animations showing how lemurs look during various actions. the animation of a lemur death cracks me up, as if *every* lemur died like that.

hate the Taco Bell/Bonanza Theme Song commercial? hate it as much as this guy? didn't think so.
[and i do have very clear memories of Lorne Greene and Co. singing the theme][theme to Bonanza, not Taco Bell]

the second photo on this pointless article about The Planet of the Apes looks like a scene from a porn flick. <shudder>thoughts of Charlton Heston doing porn</shudder>

In another instance, the FBI uncovered a plot designed to convince Central Americans that couples in the United States were adopting children from Guatemala and Honduras to harvest their vital organs.

who'd believe this crap when there are plenty of children here in the US to adopt and take organs from? sheesh. that was my favorite line from an article on the FBI watching our citizens for Commie sympathies.

anyone know how i can go about getting the church to canonize me?

from The Learning Channel's description of "Trial By Fire," an episode of the TLC series A Makeover Story:

"Kim and Wendy have had a trying relationship as mother and daughter and recently, their home was badly burned in a fire. Now Wendy and Kim have to rebuild their lives, and are looking forward to a fresh start and a fresh new look."

as if a makeover will make everything all right. cracks me up.

today has been one bloody awful day. family matters have kept me from doing anything today, including showing up for work. my sister's ex-fiancé showed up in town last night (he lives in Florida) and caused some trouble. he has one opportunity to redeem himself, and failure would not be healthy.

if things work out right, i should be back to babbling for you tomorrow.

the website for the live action The Tick is up! spoon!

tomorrow morning is the day that i and my departmentmates move to the second floor. i decided to take some of my stuff up there early. the people up there smell bad. the odors of sweat, and unbathed skin, and mouths that haven't used a toothbrush since sunrise are everywhere. germs and secretions on everything. it's horrible. and it's warm, the way that crowded rooms get warm. the air is stale, and windows everywhere.

this move really sucks.

oh no. the company has bought us ice cream again. bad things must be on the horizon.

Vince Vaughn apparently indicated on 'Regis' the other day that he and Ben Stiller hope to star in a movie remake of the classic TV series [Starsky and Hutch]

please, god, no.

Access Hollywood was at the "Planet of the Apes" premiere in New York and stood on a ladder to talk with basketballer Shaquille O'Neal who says he's very eager to get back into action movies - "As a matter of fact, I have the script to Terminator 3 at home right now"

please, god, no.²
[disturbing news from Dark Horizons]

wtf? Utah Town Tells UN to Stay Away .

as paranoid and libertarian as i am, i think the US government is a bigger threat than the UN.

the TVRoundup over here says tonights episode of Buffy will be "The Gift", this season's finale. i really want to see it again, so i'm partly glad, but i want to see "Tough Love" and "Spiral" first. we have to see Tara get brainsucked again, and see her reveal Dawn to Glory. we have to see the Scooby roadtrip and how Glory gets Dawn before the big showdown!

Jean is shutting down Ritalin Junkie for a while. until she's back up, her 'Permanent Link At The Top Of The List Of Links' will now direct you to "Dancing Lessons", her spot for Buffy/Spike Redemptionista fanfic. even if you're not into Buffy (but i know all of you are, RIGHT??), take a look. it's just good storytelling.

i laughed myself into a coughing fit over this. thanks go to Max for pointing to it.

and because Max wrote of his theory about Chandra Levy disappearance, i'll supply mine:

she was an undercover operative for the Girl Scouts, whom we know to be a paramilitary, proto-Nazi organization working toward global domination and universal oppression. she accomplished whatever task was assigned to her (which probably had nothing to do with Condit) and she disappeared, leaving the Congressman to fend for himself in any inquiries. the GS even has a couple of it's operatives claiming to be the "parents" of "Chandra," which is nothing more than a not-so-clever ruse to throw suspicion away from the GS's operatives. watch for 'anonymous' tips, which will actually be supplied by Girl Scout infiltrators throughout various investigative agencies.

now that that's out of the way, i'd have to say that, generally, Max is one of the cooler people out there. i may have to rethink that assessment after seeing his rating for Army of Darkness.

from the "Don't City Officials Have Better Things To Do?" desk: Big chicken banned from town.

interesting sports team name: Nippon Ham Fighters. a Japanese-Jewish baseball team.

Pornography as a whole demeans women, objectifying them.

does gay porn objectify and demean women?
[link from Mefi, but seriously, how does that argument stand up to that?]

Saturday was my eldest nephew's fifth birthday. he made out with a buttload of Pokemon goods, which he refuses to share with me. all in all, the day was good, the kids were fun, and being with the family was pleasant for the entire party, something that doesn't happen too often.

yesterday, i had both of my sisters and their sons over for a cookout. after lunch, we watched movies (Dude, Where's My Car and Bring It On. i love those movies) and played Pokemon Memory with the boys. another pleasant afternoon with the family that distracted me from my weekend project of cleaning, rearranging, and replanting the variety of salad goods growing around my back porch.

today, it's back at work where i discover that my schedule had been changed (moved back two hours), and this will be the last week in my spacious cubicle. the lazy Bastard Boss has decided to move us upstairs into the sea of unwashed (literally, for some) TVGuide humanity. it smells funny up there, like the way an office full of people smells. i don't like it, and i'll be left with only a desk. not even a cubicle. i may try a Les Nessman and put down some lines on the floor to represent walls and igmore people who don't "knock" on the imaginary door.

a Tennesee judge who thinks it's ok for him to step outside the bounds of his discretion now faces trial before a disciplinary board who could recommend impeachment.

from CNN's Duh Bureau: Delays common at busiest U.S. airports.

He was surrounded by a ... de facto family that he no longer has. And [he is] sort of picking up his life all alone, and then getting involved in sort of the underbelly of other people's lives, and sort of finding out about them. Loneliness is what I think of. It may not be the theme so much as the emotional intent of the series, but that's what really attracts me to it the most."

Joss talks a little about the proposed BBC/Giles project.

again, another sidebar on the Sci Fi Wire homepage that can't be linked to:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon told an audience at Comic-Con in San Diego that Dark Horse Comics will come out with a new Tales of the Slayer series, which will tell stories about slayers from throughout history. The comics will be written in part by scribes from the TV show.

and, the Buffy animated series has been approved. yip!

good news! the Chicago Sun-Times has decided that GWB is a 'one-termer.' *phew* now that that's been decided, lets just close everything up and wait out the next three and a half years.

"President Bush said Thursday he is having a hard time selling a missile defense plan to skeptical allies in Europe because he has only "vague notions" about what it would entail."

if he doesn't know, who does? shouldn't that be something that he's familiar with before he starts telling others to back it (or at least to shut up and get out of the way)?

suddenly hate the old template. gonna use this one for a while.

in an effort to make sure no one would ever want to date me, i thought i'd post my results from the Personality Disorder test linked to over at Little.Yellow.Different (for more info on what each of these mean, go here.):

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

yep, i'm quite a catch, and if you're interested, go ahead and email me. (somehow, though, i think my scores wouldn't have been so high if the questions had been answerable with "Sometimes" in addition to "Yes" and "No." except for that paranoid one. that seems about right.)

From Sci Fi Wire:

Warburton talks The Tick.

a few Buffy stories: Marti Noxon, executive producer of Buffy, says the first three seasons may soon (and finally) be released on DVD here in the States, with lots of goody extras (i won't get my hopes up, but i'll be putting some money aside nonetheless). some of the Buffy spoilers online are planted fakes (um.. duh, but i thought i'd link it anyway), a little Joss-talk about Fray, and, in a little sidebar that i can't link to (SPOILER ALERT):

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans have been waiting for one plot development for nearly two years: resolution of the fate of witch Amy Madison, played by Elizabeth Anne Allen, who was turned into a rat in season three. This week, Buffy creator Joss Whedon revealed this spoiler to SCI FI Wire for the show's upcoming sixth season: "Amy will be de-ratted. She will be de-ratted, I promise."

'course, i've been told that Joss lies a lot when it comes to upcoming episodes.

did anyone watch "When Dinosaurs Roamed America" on the Discovery channel? i watched with my sister and nephews. i thought it was better than "Walking With Dinosaurs," but that may just be because i didn't already know the dinosaurs. there were so many parts in "Roamed" when it'd say or show something, and i'd ask my sister, "how could they possibly know that? there's no way to know that." then John Goodman would say, "Scientistis don't know that, but it's as good a guess as any." heh. my television is interactive.

actually, there was something natural to the way the show was put together. as the show went along, my sister would ask a question about something said or shown, and minutes later, the program would answer her question. since i don't really believe my television allows two-way communication with the Discovery channel, i'd say they did a really good job of anticipating the kinds of questions people would ask as they watched. that, or my apartment is bugged.

the one question my sister asked that they didn't answer so well was an explanation of geologic time. fortunately her elder brother had a long winded and probably too detailed answer for her. that paleontology course i took three times came in handy.

my favorite is the fruit template. who wouldn't want their blog to have an avocado on it?

George Bush says Winston Churchill was like a Texan. Great Britian breaks off diplomatic contact with U.S. over the insult.

The President added, "Sometimes Churchill will talk back, sometimes he won't, depending upon the stress of the moment..."

wow. most of the dead people i know don't talk back at all.

Fox has announced the fall premiere dates for it's genre shows. the only one of any import is The Tick, which will debut on November 1 at 8:30p.m. November 1 also happens to be my birthday. this gives you all a little more than 3 months to get me a gift.

do you like slightly crazy, bookish girls who love tacos and have only recently returned from a demon dimension? then check out this interview with Amy Acker, Angel's Fred. also, take a look at what some of the other cast members had to say to Sci Fi Wire.

"I deplore desecration of the flag in any form," said Rep. John Conyers, D-Michigan, but "I am strongly opposed to this resolution because it ... elevates a symbol of freedom over freedom itself."

simply stated, well stated. the House has passed a flag protection amendment. again. given the current party breakdown in the Senate, it's unlikely to pass. again.

CNN reports that a giant dust storm has covered Mars. they say the dust has caused the planet's temperature to rise by 30° Celsius. i've always been under the impression that large amounts of dust in the atmosphere cool a planet by reflecting sunlight back into space. CNN says, "Such howlers [big ass dust storms] do not besiege our planet thanks to the abundance of water, whether in the oceans or the air, which prevents airborne dust from cooking the atmosphere."

ok, so the water keeps our planet's temperature from rising due to atmospheric dust, but what keeps the dust from forming big ass storms in the first place?

hey, wait. didn't i read somewhere that Willow, Buffy's lesbian wiccan sidekick, is going to be on the cover of "Out" magazine soon? who was writing about that? they also mentioned something about some wrestler too. anyone know?

it's been a while since i've posted some geeklinks, right (Buffy links don't count)? here's a handful of them for you:

Scott Bakula and John Billingsley talk about their respective Enterprise characters and SciFi Wire tours the ship.

Sarah says she meant it when she said she'd quit Buffy if the show left the WB, but only until WB decided to turn into cheap bastards. meanwhile, UPN announces the fall premiere dates for it's new shows (and for Special Education 2 too)(oops. meant Special Unit 2). Buffy premieres on October 9. Roswell is prepared to back off of the scifi a bit and return to it's sappy roots of the first season.

over at the WB, it looks like they'll continue their tradition of screwing things up by taking liberties with the Superman mythos in Smallville.

and lastly, Chris Carter says "Oh, all right, I'll come back to X-Files, but just one more season... starting at the end of the next season."

next time, it'd probably be easier for me to just direct you to Sci Fi Wire, since i didn't bother to check out any of the original sources, or use a variety instead of a single source. eh, bite me. it's one of those days.

i've seen the recent rash of articles about the Salvation Army's stance on homosexuals and it's efforts to have Congress pass an antidiscrimination exemption for groups like them. i didn't realize though that the SA was also spending $88,000 to $110,000 per month to lobby for Bush's forced-conversion-based intiative. couldn't that money be better used to, oh, help the needy or something? at least buy some warmer coats for those people who stand outside Hell-Mart ringing the bell.

i've had my own pet theory about the Salvation Army for a while now, similar to my Girl Scout theory. someday, when i'm in a better mood, i'll share it.
[first two links from web queeries. i'm too lazy to go find the other sources. the last link i picked up at bushreport.com.]

you know, i don't think i'd name my church for a literary character whose name is synonymous with greed. {why didn't anyone tell me i'd misspelled that?}

also, none of these were Springfield Baptist Church i was looking for. if i'm to have the option of watching church services on Sunday morning television, i'd like it to be a church i find interesting. why doesn't Reverand Lovejoy have his own Sunday morning churchcast?

Joss talks a little about next season and Buffy's resurrection, says crossovers with Angel are unlikely and confims that some of the spoilers posted at AICN are true (but he's not telling which ones).

meanwhile, the WB is still being a bastard. the sore loser says that there will be *no* Buffy/Angel crossovers whatsoever.

ok, so i do agree that the two shows need to establish themselves and stand independent of one another, but it's so much fun vilifying WB for screwing up my Tuesday and Monday nights. i'll get over it soon. promise.

She's black, beautiful and six feet two inches of sexy cool. She's Cleaopatra Jones—and when she goes after lawbreakers, Cleopatra gets them with her lethal combination of karate kicks and kung fu chops. Tamara Dobson stars as the CIA agent in pursuit of a narcotics ring headed by Shelley Winters. —from the Outer Max description of Cleopatra Jones

cleopatra couldn't really kick butt because she'd mess up her outlandish 70's fashions, including big furry hats and tight dresses with spangles. shelley winters gives a totally over the top performance as the lesbian leader of an inner-city heroin ring. —from a user's comment on IMDb

i've never seen a Cleopatra Jones film, but, from the descriptions above, this is definitely something to see. Shelley Winters as drug kingpin? ha!

hmm. the WB is pissed, not only over its complete shut-out but particularly the snubbing of Buffy in this week's prime-time Emmy nominations. folks, i read through the nominees, and i'd be pissed too. actually, i am pissed. the nominees were the same shows over and over. hell, does the cast of Will & Grace have "Permanent Nominee" status or somthing? yes, Buffy is genre television, which is generally not well represented in the Emmy nominees, but "The Body", the episode which picks up with Buffy finding her mother dead, is good television. it's fucking great television. Joss Whedon, as writer and director of that episode, deserves a nomination for it. instead, we get the shows with the highest ratings, and the shows that "everyone's talking about." ratings certainly aren't the way to discover quality television, and listening to the same mindless sheep who watch When the Funniest Police Car Crashes Attack is idiocy. i now hold the Emmys in the same disregard as i do the Oscars, the MTV Movie Awards, the Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, and anything with "People's Choice" in the title.

thank you.

still depressed, but feeling a little better now, due mainly to finding a copy of Fray #2 today (see the cover). i'll write a review for it later. for now, here's some details about my journey to the beach.

i've said before that i have a fear of jellyfish, even though i've never seen one. in visiting Corpus Christi, i finally got to see one. i'd been telling Mike since we first started planning the roadtrip that i wouldn't get into the water at the beach. he was determined that i would.

for two months, it's been a constant barrage of soothing words attempting to allay my fear of medusoid marine creatures. in the end, Mike's reassurances (helped along, i'm sure, by the half dozen cold ones he bought me at lunch) persuaded me to wade into the Gulf waters to waist depth. i stood, letting wave after wave hit me, enjoying the sand between my toes, spitting out the foul tasting water. then, i screamed like an eight year old girl.

yes, i'd been stung, along my elbow and the back of my forearm. i retreated quickly to the beach as my companions laughed at me, and i cursed myself for not researching before hand how long i'd have to get to hospital before it was too late. Mike and Co. just laughed when i said i should see a doctor. they didn't think it was a jellyfish because *they* hadn't seen it. they made fun of me, even telling me to watch out for the beach jellyfish that lie in wait under the sand until you step too close.

it kind of pissed me off. after ten minutes or so, my elbow no longer hurt, though i still had red whelps running across it and down my arm. i decided the jellyfish probably wasn't deadly since there weren't any signs warning of the beasties, so i screwed my courage to the sticking place and waded back in. i was going to find the jellyfish and show my companions.

it took me a while, but i finally spotted one (actually, i mistook it for some trash floating in the water, and almost grabbed it before i realized that it was a little too spheroid to be a plastic bag). it was small, about 6 or 8 inches in diameter, and looked like a soft white light bulb floating just below the surface. i called the others over, to prove to them that the jellyfish were out there, and they promptly began trying to catch it (in any group of people, there's always at least one dumbass. our group was lucky enough to have four). they thought it loads of fun, until Dumbass #4 actually got to touch it and was stung also. we all began searching after that, and spotted about a dozen of the buggers (or, it could have been Flash the Wonderjellyfish, moving very quickly). that was enough for me. i left.

i headed over to the USS Lexington , which was moored nearby, but turned back when i saw the $10 admission price (for ten dollars, not only should you get to tour the ship, but you should also get a blowjob from a sailor. i'm fairly certain that wasn't part of the package). i met up with the others, and we called it a day.

so that's my jellyfish story.

jeez, i say Texas wasn't that bad, then highlight a bunch of negative things about it. imagine if i'd hated it.

still officially "On Vacation", though i am actually back at home now. i have to say, Texas was really... not that bad. we (meaning me, Mike, Mike's brother-in-law, and a guy Mike has known for 20 years) made a circuit through a few of the major cities. here are some highlights:

• Houston, the country's most polluted city. buttloads of fun for an asthmatic like me. the recent flooding also left the city with an unpleasant water-damaged smell.
• Austin, home of UT, the archnemesis of OU, and former home of our current president. felt a near-overwhelming compulsion to piss on everything.
• San Antonio. the Alamo. didn't bother to stop. somehow passed three "San Antonio City Limits" signs on our way straight through the city.
• Waco. uh, ok, there's nothing to see there.
• Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington. hummed the theme song and had thoughts of Larry Hagman's liver transplant/grateful, after a long day with my traveling companions, for the liquor store i spotted from the highway/the place where i nearly murdered one of my traveling companions.
• Corpus Christi. sand, sun, water, hot bartenders and jellyfish.
• El Paso. we didn't actually visit El Paso. i tried to talk my companions into going there, because, once there, i thought it'd be easy to talk them into a short 206 mile side trip to Roswell, NM, where the cute big-eared alien guy is. they didn't bite.

that's it for the highlights. i will add some more detail about a few places later. i'm not in the mood right now. i think i'm afflicted with Post-Vacation Depression, even if it was just Texas.

as of 5:00pm (that being right now), i am officially "On Vacation." it's very unlikely that there will be any updates during the next 7 or 10 days. until i resume my weekday babblings and incoherencies, visit some of the folks listed on the right, and send me lots of email. i'll be thinking of each and every one of you while i'm gone, and i just may return with souvenirs for everyone*.

* unlikely. in fact, damned near improbable.

later gators!