in one of the Star Trek movies, one of the characters explains the origin of the word 'sabotage' as, basically, Dutch workers protesting automation by flinging their woooden shoes (sabot) into the machinery to foul it up. so, when i ran into the word 'cabotage', i was so happy, and thought our language so wonderful to actually have a word to name the act of flinging cabbage into machinery. but i'm wrong. that's not what it means at all.

people who buy a house in a floodplain should not get all pissed off when the house floods.

homoousia.

what a great word. look at all those vowels, yet not a single e. i think this is where the other vowels get their revenge on e for being not only the most popular vowel, but also one of the most popular letters at all. exclusionary bastards.

it seems that my meds also have a Viagra-like side effect, which really isn't a good thing while at work.

winning is not an option for me. i can either be in pain, or take my medication and feel nausea (the other side effects, such as feeling loopy and spacing out every ten minutes or so, don't bother me).

i am now also an activist for preventing the elderly from driving. i went to pick up my prescriptions from the apothecary (i like that word. pharmacist sounds like it should be a synonym for 'ranch-hand'), and was nearly hit by an elderly man running a red light. i've decided that anyone older than me should not be permitted to drive. neither should anyone younger than me (damned kids). in fact, no one other than me should be permitted to drive because i am, apparently, the only sane and sensible driver out there.

yes! yesyesyeseyesyesyesyesyesyes! E! Online says the Region 1 Buffy complete first seasons DVD box sets will be out this fall! yippee! i should try to figure out how to use the DVD player before then.

Gremlins and Goonies are supposed to be coming soon too.

some words i thought i'd never see in a single sentence: "The Chris Rock/Anthony Hopkins comedy actioneer." ugh.

Max is right about the cuteness factor in those photos, but what happens if the predator trying to get that little harvest mouse is a dog? won't the dog get all excited about the tennis ball, take it home, and try to get little Billy and Sally to toss the ball for a game of fetch? what of the mice then? i foresee great (mouse) tragedy soon.

Max is wrong about some things though (poisonous reptiles notwithstanding): i am here to attest to the fact that the great cubicle mazes of Corporate America do exist, as i am lost within.

terrence is safe driver.

terrence obeys traffic laws (terrence is flipped off for driving speed limit).

terrence stops when traffic signal is red.

other drivers don't always do the same.

especially nearly-blind seventy-four year old women.

engine of woman's car is now sitting in passenger seat.

terrence's car has pieces hanging off. and cracking. and crumpling.

terrence's back, shoulder and neck hurt. a lot.

doctor says, 'Nothing serious.'

he gave terrence lots of medication.

good medication.

medication with a hefty street value.

terrence is happy.

ok, so i'm a little calmer now, and glanced down at that headline again, "AIDS conferees grapple with describing sex," and i hear this voice in my head saying "It's like warm apple pie." oy, i need some sleep.

bah! i'm going home.

bah! AIDS conferees grapple with describing sex.

At issue is how to define those who are most vulnerable and at greatest risk of HIV infection, and thus deserve to be given priority in treatment.

The phrase that has alarmed many Muslim and Catholic nations defines "those most vulnerable" as "men who have sex with men, sex workers and their clients, injecting drug users and their sexual partners," along with children, refugees and displaced persons.

"Some elements want to use the opportunity ... to legitimize behaviors which are totally inconsistent with the values of others," one Muslim diplomat told CNN.

this is what happens when you let politicians decide health policy and procedure. maybe we should start letting the physicians treat diseases. bureaucrats don't seem to be doing so well with it.

and goddamn., this reminds me of Helms, and it just pisses me off. when i rule the planet, politicians will be imprisoned for life as punishment for screwing around while people die, just so they can complain and bitch and moan over what may be an embarrassing word or phrase, especially when most of the people that they worry may be offended by those words probably won't read the damned thing anyway.

White House press secretary collapses during speech.

Castro falters during speech.

is there some kind of mystical connection between the two? oh! maybe Castro and Fleischer are like Glory and Ben, only they don't inhabit the same body!

my sister had her son's (my nephew. duh.) birthday party today at my mother's house. my sister rented a Jupiter Jump for the afternoon. within an hour, me and my sisters had taken over the thing and had the kids at our whim. a one hundred seventy pound guy who lands near a thirty-five pound child will either bounce that child up really high, or cause the child to hit at the wrong time. either way, he or she falls, and if that guy keeps bouncing, the child will not be able to stand again. my sisters and i spent more time on the thing than the kids did, but it was fun to watch a half dozen 3 to 6 year olds jumping around, all saying "boing!" with every bounce. now though, after 5 hours on and off the thing, and an hour long water fight with the nephews and a cousin, i'm exhausted and ready for bed, at 7:30.

my other sister has decided to rent one for my other nephew's birthday next month (it's a great price, $65, for all that boinginess). i also made my mom promise to rent one for my birthday. seriously. if it's been years since you been on the Bouncy Castle at the fair or an amusement park, you gotta do it. in fact, i'm inviting all of you over to my mom's for my birthday in November for an afternoon of inflatable rubber fun.

our department's admin arrived at work this morning, thinking it was just another Friday here at happy TVGuide Land, is called to meet with the department's manager, and while she's being told 'your-position's-been-eliminated-and-we-didn't-give-you-any-warning ha-ha-but-we'll-give-you-a-good-reference-so-it's-not-all-bad', the manager's supervisor (a VP.) is out loading the admin's possessions into a box (talk about first class Employment Termination services, "Let Our Executives Show You The Way Out.").

the same thing happened to one of the supervisors too. at least the thirty IT people who were axed eight weeks ago got a half day's¹ notice before being told "So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night."

immediately after all that happened, a flurry of email is being sent across the network: "omg, did you hear?" "can you believe?" "should we be worried?"

so the (remaining) supervisors hold short meetings with their respective staffs (staves?): "we want you to hear this from us" (too late for that, of course)."Admin and Supervisor4 have been released." released? like they were pardoned after being imprisoned here. cubicles are rather similar to cells though.

"we also want you to know that there's nothing to worry about, that everyone else's position is secure." hey! didn't they say that eight weeks ago too? are they just trying to get us to lower our guard a little before the next axe falls? is that why they're buying us ice cream today, to comfort us, and make us feel secure, loved? shhh, little employees. it's ok. the big bad "Release" Monster is gone.


1 after all the buzz lately about the use, misuse, and abuse of apostrophes, i doubt myself everytime i use one (i should doubt myself, since i write like a chimp with a Speak-n-Spell). i am beginning to fear the letter s, because it has a close association with apostrophes, and i get nervous around contractions and the possessive forms of words (only the genitive case of pronouns ease my mind, the little darlings).

the Company's buying our department ice cream today. aren't we special? you are soooooo jealous, right?

McVeigh execution items pulled off Web auction

"I think it's sick, very gross," said Marsha Kight, whose daughter Frankie Merrell died in the bombing. "This is disgusting. I just can't believe there are so many sick people out there."

let's see. t-shirts and mugs and other execution memorabilia crap that was hawked in Terra Haute. people calling for gruesome torture and a painful execution of McVeigh. the billboard by the Dallas radio station. all the people who wanted to watch the execution. all of the general bloodlust surrounding the execution. and even the very event in which her daughter and 167 other people died. but this one guy is doing the same thing hundreds of others have done, and she can't believe there are so many sick people out there.

ok, lady, let's rein in the drama please.

is Christina Aguilera (dead link) actually a man?
[peepin' nads brought to you by Popbitch]

though i've been feeling rather apolitical today, here's an article from Time(.com) asking How Ethical is the Bush Administration Anyway?

oh, look. cover art: The Simpsons DVD

why don't cinemas let you pay a buck or two to go in to watch just the trailers? or why not have one screen set aside for people to watch all of the current trailers? they could charge half the regular ticket price or something, and you'd only be there for half an hour or so.

Dark Horizons says: "A.I.: Artifical Intelligence" will have "Harry Potter" Trailer 2, "Planet of the Apes" (if its not the new third one you'll know FOX won't be doing a third one), "Lord of the Rings" Trailer 2, and the big one (in a scary way) - the first teaser for "Scooby Doo".

i don't really want to see the film. i have some issues with that "i see dead people" boy.

some advice for Spielberg and his colleagues: the easiest way to get me to watch a film is to give either the protagonist or antagonist a Big Ass Sword™, or even some minor characters whom we see a lot. (but make sure to put it in the trailer or i won't know about it!). i'd go see A.I. if the tagline was "He's not real, but his love is, and he has a Big Ass Sword™ to smite those who doubt that love." any movie can be improved with the addition of a Big Ass Sword™.

that's arguable with The Sound of Music, but think of that "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" song. i'll guarantee that the nancy-boy Nazi jerk Rolf singing it wouldn't have been so condescending if Liesl had whipped a B.A.S. out of her bodice and hacked off a limb or two. or how about those nuns with their "How do you solve a problem like Maria"? Maria draws her sword, says something like "Solve this, bitch!", then we cut away. later, at sunset, we see Maria, her dress stained crimson, walking out of the convent and licking the blood from the sword. that would be a cool movie.

it's the Rocky Horror Giles Show! now we know what he does after hours in the magic shop.
(and why is it that, when i look at that URL, my first thought is 'tee hee!'? bad terrence!)

and Giles also performed as Wynonna Judd at one of the Bronze's weekly drag shows.
[sweet transvestite seduced by Jean, who emailed the links to me instead of posting them herself]

#3 in the Bitter Ex-Employee Series: Wal-Mart hit with lawsuit. Female employees file class action suit alleging sex discrimination.

so, the rumor about Giles being approached to play the Master in some new Dr Who audios hit 2 out of 3. he has been approached, and it was for some future Dr Who stories, but it wasn't for the Master. it'd be a totally new villain created specifically for him. go Evil Giles!

*****

Kate Mulgrew told Sci Fi Wire that "her next project will be a one-woman stage show entitled Tea at Five, which stars Mulgrew as Katharine Hepburn." since the debut of Voyager, i thought Kate Mulgrew resembled Katharine Hepburn enough to play her sometime. it was probably that bun-of-steel hairstyle she had.

Movies So Bad You Shouldn't Watch Them Sober reviews: The Mummy Returns. (oops. heh. forgot the link)

and from the Left Behind review:

Left Behind is based on the "best-selling book" of the same name. Of course I don't know anyone who actually bought it, but then again, I don't know anyone who owns a Garth Brooks CD, and he's the best-selling artist of all time. The book and the movie are about a journalist who attempts to discover the secret behind the disappearance of millions of people (probably the same ones who own Garth Brooks CDs and copies of Left Behind).

'So you don't have any bat-powers? So it's just an outfit?'

Joss imagines the conversation, should Buffy ever meet up with Batman, in an interview about comic books. Joss gets cooler all the time. like me, he thought Cypher's mutant power was cool (though i'd much rather have something with much more destructive capability).

Cypher's special gift was intuitive understanding of any language or code. he could learn a foreign language in minutes by listening to someone speak it. when the other members of the New Mutants can hurl cars, possess a person's mind, or create portals through time and space, though, most people think Cypher's powers are kind of lame, and not all that useful in battle, which is probably why he's dead now.

and "New Mutants" is a terrible name for a team or title of a comic book. who was the creative genius that came up with that?

cool science news: neutrinos have mass after all.

Half of world's 6,800 languages could die by 2100 from CNN, and Most World Languages Gone by 2100 from Discovery.com.

when i was a student at OU, my anthropology professors were abuzz with a project the department was working on involving a man in western Oklahoma who was the last speaker of a Native language. they were recording him as much as possible, and he was working with linguistical anthropologists to set the grammar in writing so that the language wouldn't be completely lost. there was some urgency in the project, as the man was in his mid 80s.

i read, last summer, in the Native American Times of the death of man who was the last member of his tribe and the last speaker of his tribe's language. i don't know if this man was the same as the one with whom the University had worked (as i understand it now, there are several languages with only a few remaining speakers with whom the University is working to preserve), and i thought then, as i do now, that, if language is not only a method of communication but also a reflection of the way a person perceives the world, beyond the issues of identity and culture, the world has lost a truly unique perspective on itself.

Ethnologue Language Family Index is a nifty little resource listing thousands of languages grouped by family.

i'll quit abusing my native language for now, until i find something else to post about.

pssst! parts of that last post aren't true.

have i mentioned yet that i'll be taking vacation during the second week of next month? i'll be going to South Carolina. a good buddy and ex-lover of mine invited me down for a few days of unholy debauchery involving live fowl, a kilo of cocaine, and Tom Green movies. there's nothing like sitting around with a flock of coked up chickens watching Road Trip over and over. hee! how Strom loves it!

yay! the monkeys are fighting back against the depredations of man! go monkey army! (actually, it's kind of scary. these monkeys are about 5 feet tall. it'd be different if they were some of those cute little 18 inch monkeys)
[via Metafilter]

India's 'monkey-man' branded imaginery. lies! it real, i tell you! the New Delhi police have probably captured or killed it, and now, the Indian government wants to deny it ever existed because it doesn't fit within the Scientific Paradigm. they can't explain its existence, so they just explain it away as imaginary, and the world is made a little safer and a little more predictable.

Spike Lee hasn't directed a musical since 1988's School Daze, but all that may soon change: The New York Post reports that Lee is in "discussions" with Miramax Films about directing the film version of Rent. Miramax acquired the rights to Jonathan Larson's prizewinning musical (it's "La Boheme" goes downtown, basically) in 1996, but agreed not to release the film before fall 2001 in order to protect international productions of the musical. Stephen Chabosky is currently at work on the script. Lee is said to be a big fan of Rent, and has seen the musical several times.

the jury's still out on whether or not this is one of those Things That Should Not Be. i'll probably make my decision after they announce the casting of Michael Jackson, Leonardo DiCaprio, and/or Freddy Prinze Jr. [quote from Film.com, found via Dark Horizons]

i will indenture myself for six months to anyone within the United States who buys these for me.
[praise Metafilter for finding the cool stuff]

Anthony Stewart Head is rumored to have been approached to play the Master in a future Doctor Who story. that'd be cool.

Bush fails to convert EU leaders

"It was perhaps a measure of the gulf which remains between Bush and his European hosts that he sounded his most enthusiastic when celebrating the agreement reached between the U.S. and the EU on banana imports."

i saw the clip on CNN yesterday. el presidente seemed to fluctuate between distinterest and boredom while discussing most topics, but he looked genuinely pleased with himself when mentioning the Great Banana Accords. it cracked me up.

i'm going to have to hurt Max for placing a link to this somewhere that i would see it. i would have prefered never to hear such a falsely untrue, slanderous lying falsehooded gossiping b*llsh*t. it's so spitefully deceptive that i should be using a * in place of all the vowels in this post, because the lie has made this entire post that profane. it can't be true. it won't be, else someone gets hurt.

here's an entry in the Things That Keep Me Up At Night series.

after tossing a coin nine times, with each toss coming up 'heads' each time, what is the probability that the tenth toss will also come up 'heads'? assume that there are no outside influences or forces acting on the toss (i.e., no air resistence, the coin is perfectly balenced, blah blah blah). it's just you, the coin, and probability.

initially, i thought '50 - 50', an equal chance of a head or a tail, that the first nine tosses had no bearing at all on the tenth. now i'm not sure about that, and i don't know if it's because it really shouldn't be 50 - 50, or if i'm trying to change the laws of the universe.

anyone know a statistician who could ease my mind, or the name of a book that explains why it is or isn't an equal chance (in simple terms. i'm not too bright)?

coming from .C.H.U.D. (no, not the sewer folk who eat people):

• Michelle [Trachtenberg] talked a little bit more after that about how much she couldn't talk about everything and how we should direct all questions to Joss.
  
  Smilin' Jack Ruby talks with "a bunch of cool people" at the Saturn Awards, including Michelle Trachtenberg (at the bottom of the first page) who said, for the most part, what i quoted above (ok, there's a bit more, but not a lot). there's a photo of Julie Benz wearing a Darla-esque red dress with not-so-Darla-esque shoes at the bottom of the second page too.
  
  
• 'Big Momma's House' writer threatens to direct.

---

have you ever wondered, who'd win in a fight: Snake "Escape from New York" Plissken or Jack "Big Trouble in Little China" Burton?

another Godzilla product soon to be 'in the can'? i know, the news is too weeks old, but sometimes i'm a little slower than everyone else. if only my mom hadn't smoked so much opium while i was still in the womb.

---

to hell with trying to find it on the message boards at the official site. i'm just going to quote what Dark Horizons quoted from the message boards post by Joss (phew!):

"The songs will rhyme like actual songs. I wouldn't call the show sondheim influnenced stylistically so much as thematically. I'm trying to walk the line between pop and classic showtunes - i.e. contemporary music with lyrics that move the narrative instead of just repeating. RENT, Aimee Mann, Elvis Costello -- but again, the sound will be different from any of those cuz I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. I just hope Chris Beck (And Jesse Tobias of Splendid, who I'm hoping will help produce it) can make it all sound coherent, not just a hodgepodge. There will be much comedy and many heartfelt ballads, if it comes together AT ALL it'll have some classic moments. That much I can promise".

---

i saw the WB's new "Angel has moved to Mondays" commercial. i liked it, mostly.

---

from Sci Fi Wire:

• William Boone (actor Kevin Kilner) is returning to Earth: Final Conflict. he was the lead character (and my favorite) during the first season of the show, until he was killed off.
  
  
• Mulder's pissed about kissing Scully. Duchovny didn't like Mulder's send off.

terrence's Question of the Day: could the locksmith have been any hotter?

i applaud the guy's skill (among his other, more obvious attributes). when he showed up, he handed me an invoice pad and asked that i write my name, ZIP code and signature in the appropriate boxes. before i even finished my name, he had my car unlocked, and was putting his equipment back into his van. i have decided that i'm in the wrong line of work since it takes me 2 hours, 20 minutes to earn what i handed him for about 15 minutes of work (forty-five seconds of it dealing with me and my problem, the rest spent driving).

ever had one of those split-second moments while in the middle of a second-long action in which there's no way to stop yourself from completing the action, where, in that infinitesimal instance, you realize that you just screwed the pooch?

stupid terrence dummy boy locked his keys in the car this morning. for two months, he has been putting off having a second set of keys made, so there's no spare. putz.

condemned unsanitary simians! (too many syllables to be a good curse). now UPN is denying reports of the dates for the premieres of Enterprise, Buffy and Roswell.

"There is some nervousness," he acknowledged. "I understand that, but it's beginning to be allayed when they here the logic behind the rationale."

i wonder if CNN inserted that mistake in a Bush quote unconsciously. or maybe el presidente actually said "here" instead of "hear."

according to the WKBD/UPN50 website, Enterprise debuts on September 26 (not the 23rd, as Dark Horizons says), and the season premieres of Buffy and Roswell are October 9 and 16, respectively. [huggles to Dark Horizons for pointing me in that direction. eww. i can't believe i wrote the word 'huggles.']

in other news: The Cartoon Network hopes to reel in adults with Space Ghost, Erik Estrada. is anyone else saying, "Eric Estrada!! oh boy!! i gotta watch!"? didn't think so. (but yes, i am saying "Space Ghost? all right! i gotta watch!")

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

today's an ampersand kind of day. good for dividing long posts. and i like ampersands. those wheel-chaired people characters they use on Handicapped Parking signs make me think of ampersands.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

everyone's talking about cans of Godzilla Meat being sold in Japan. irradiated reptile meat may be tastey, but you'd think it be a little gamy.

"People can eat Godzilla and become energetic and powerful." yes they can, right up until the radiation sickness kicks in. but once your hair falls out and the vomiting, diarrhea, ulceration of the alimentary canal and sloughing of the skin begin, isn't it great to know that Godzilla Meat has "dreams mixed in with fun."

how did they get Godzilla to give up his flesh? maybe this Kirk vs. Godzilla showdown has the answers.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

the Saturn Award winners were announced yesterday. you can get a quick rundown of the winners here. Buffy won for the Network Television Series catagory and James Marsters won for the Supporting Actor on Television catagory.

Elizabeth Rohm says she was initially wary of taking the Kate role in Angel.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

some fans of Voyager are unwilling to accept the end of the tv series, so they're creating their own stories and putting them online. this is reported as news, and the fans do this because the series ended so suddenly and without warning, because no one has ever written fan fic before, and because Parmamount (via Simon & Schuster, who has an entire subdivision devoted to Star Trek media, the whole thing being one big incestuous Viacom orgy) hasn't thought to publish Voyager-based novels.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

and finally, HRC has called for a boycott against ExxonMobile. i guess this means no more Masterpiece Theatre.

good riddance. clowns are evil. children shouldn't be permitted to watch them. they should be destroyed. the clowns, not the children. well... nah, just the clowns.

okokokokok i'm all excited about Jurassic Park III. i saw an advertisement for it last night on television and i nearly wet myself. i love dinosaurs. the only way i could love dinosaurs more is to have dinosaurs that use big ass swords and martial arts.

wait! missing time! isn't that an indication of alien abduction? good lord, i may be pregnant and carrying an alien baby!

dammit. i thought today was the 12th. i've lost an entire day somewhere.

[The ABM treaty] prevents freedom-loving people from exploring the future and that's why we've got to lay it aside.-- GWB at a press conference after meeting with Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar.

what does that mean? seriously. it means nothing, right?

and another thought: do they make the president get a passport before travelling to other countries? if he didn't already have one, i mean.

Strike averted at Kennedy Space Center. they did, however, pick up the spare.

Skeptical leaders await Bush on European trip. um... i'm not going to do it, even if reading the headline did make me spit Sprite everywhere.

ahem. sorry about that. this is cool though: Birds are imitating cell phones.

wha?

i agree with the Court's decision, but who'da thunk that Justices Thomas, Souter, Ginsburg, Breyer and Scalia would have agreed on this? i thought it'd be either 5-4 the other way, ruling that a warrant wasn't required, or that it'd be 8-1 affirming that it was required (with Rehnquist being the lone dissenter, mainly because he's dead and other Justices haven't figured it out yet).

it's mindboggling.

i'll take "Things That Make You Breathe A Sigh of Relief" for $200: Ghostbusters 3 Unlikely

no? ok, let's try "Ooh, That's Got To Hurt": at EW.com, Pearl Harbor and The Animal are both graded at B-. my expectations for any Rob Schneider movie are... well, i wouldn't even bother building any. truly. his movies suck. but does the shared grade with Pearl Harbor mean that this Rob Schneider film is much better than i thought it would be, or that Pearl Harbor just friggin' sucks?

ok, so the Mutant X website is up. there's not a lot up yet, but it is enough to give you the basic story and let you see the cast and characters. it sounds to me like the big, bad antagonist just needs to get over it, the whiner. Mondo and Shadowcat had themselves a love child named Jesse (the actor Forbes March. hubba!).

so, the show's about this guy named Lex Luthor who left Metropolis after supposedly being killed off after the first season or so of Lois and Clark. deciding that it just isn't worth having Superman kick his ass all the time, Lex gives up Evil and becomes Good, in the form of a Philanthropist, since that's really the only Good thing a billionaire can be (cf. Charles Xavier, Reed Richards, Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark). Lex gathers around himself a group of genetically super-powered beings and names them "The X-Men." Tom De Santo appears out of nowhere with his own team of super-powered Lawyers. during a brief battle, the Lawyers throw out a Cease and Desist Order, a couple of Injunctions, a Motion for a Change of Venue and a Codicil (don't ask me why. Lawyers are a little wonky sometimes) (and yes, that Legal Terms Glossary comes in handy). Lex concedes and changes the name of the team, using the unoriginal and unapt "Mutant X".

sometimes, when i have nothing else to do at work, i write crap like that.

i bought the Willow and Tara Special yesterday. nothing spectacular enough to get me buying the Buffy comic book, but nothing that would dissuade from it either. there were some cool death scenes though.

Oz is getting his own three-part mini-series, the first issue to be released next month.

i went to the comic book store nearest to my apartment to pick up a copy of Fray, but the stupid store didn't have it. they didn't order any. i hate that place. and they have a crappy website. not that mine's all that great, but it's not crappy like theirs. or stupid. like them.

they're advertising for Trek Expo 2001. Kate Mulgrew will be making an appearance. i was thinking about going and sneaking up behind her to cut out a lock of her hair (i have this thing about her hair), but i'm pretty sure she could kick my ass. if she couldn't, Hercules is going to be there too, and i know he'd be able to, being a demi-god and all. he'd stomp me into squishy piles of mush, and as an added insult and ultimate indignity, Adam West would laugh at me (really, should that guy be laughing at anyone?).

from today's Dark Horizon- Triple X: Vin Diesel is set to star for Director Rob Cohen in this film about an extreme sports player turned undercover spy.

extreme sports player turned undercover spy. yeah.

Moses vs. Godzilla. Ode to G.I. Joe. Oops! Carts.

doe Hallmark sell "I'm Sorry That Your Fiancé Is Gay" cards? i need to get one for my sister.

discuss some Buffy rumors.

this sentence is irritating.

The other side features the entire Peanuts gang, including Charlie Brown and Lucy.

it's from this article.

do you miss Bob Saget, John Stamos, Dave Coulier, Candace Cameron, Jodie Sweetin, and the Hellbeasts/Olsen Twins all living in the same house, spewing saccharin and dealing with the tough issues (like Michelle not eating her radishes and Stephanie hating DJ because Mr Bear smells like mold)? do you miss the general misrepresentation of how American Families really are? then do something about it!

bloody US Open. they're holding it in Tulsa next week, just down the street, so the property management people are tightening security around here , making us wear our badges, giving us parking passes, and closing down most of the entrances to the parking lots (which is really inconvenient. i have to drive a quarter mile more to get to work now, dammit), and having lots of blustering idiots security guards walking around. i understand that they don't want our parking spaces filled with golf fans (who would?), but tightening security in the building? do they fear that someone may sneak in and find out what movie ABC is showing two weeks from Saturday? or are they worried that a rogue golf fan (or Tiger Woods, maybe?) will gain access to an unattended-yet-logged-on computer and change Acorn the Nature Nut's rating from TV-G to TV-PG? or say that it's closed captioned when it's not? egad! the evils they could accomplish here!

Parents Say Web Sites Teach Fucking Profanity

A coalition of parenting groups today urged Congress to introduce a more stringent Communications Decency Act, arguing that profanity-filled Web sites are a bad influence on their children. "I used to think my kids got their potty-mouths from the shit they saw on TV and radio," testified one frustrated parent. "But after surfing the Web, Jesus Fuckin' Christ. That must be where they learn it."

Billy Cadwaller, a father of one from Macon, Ga., described how the Internet has soured his relationship with his 11-year-old daughter.

"One night I came home late and went in to give my little girl a kiss, and she wakes up all coughing and blinking and says to me, 'Oooo Daddy, you are shit-faced again,'" Cadwaller testified. "Now where did she learn that? I'll tell ya. I went to that Googly search engine and found 95 sites had the phrase 'you are shit-faced' on 'em. Ninety-fuckin'-five."

"Fuck," responded Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah.

this shit fucking cracks me up, especially the quote from that cuntfaced Hatch.

does "Pearl Harbor" suck as much as the surveys are saying?

the next in the "Bitter Ex-Employee" linkage series: When Wal-Mart Comes to Town

The 13 Scariest White Guys in America. i don't think i'd consider Roger Clemens one of the scariest, even if i was a Mets fan.

the article can also be useful to Werewolf players. it provides some Real Life Examples that can be used as the bases for antagonists in a Pentex chronicle. it's scary that you wouldn't have to make any alterations to the Real Life Guys' characteristics to use them.

the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast, complete with photos of the victims' bodies hanging above the beds, a quiet little getaway for the morbid, obsessed and psychopathic.

Anthony Stewart Head confirmed for SCI FI Wire that his Watcher character will no longer be a regular on Buffy (which we already knew), but that's not the disturbing part of the article. it's in the last paragraph: "I'm doing a BBC series called Manchild. It's about four men in their 40s dealing with life, sex and midlife crises. It's like a male equivalent of Sex and the City."

eww. Giles shouldn't be doing things like that.

my five year old nephew has a toy Mystery Machine with Scooby and Shaggy action figures. i'm going to try to talk him into giving it to me.

and on the Scooby theme of this post, here's a WWF Celebrity Grudge Match: Scooby Doo Gang vs. Mulder and Scully.

with all the wonderous advances in increasing hard drive capacity, why don't they make floppy disks that hold more and still fit in a regular floppy drive? and if they do make them, why aren't they readily available at the local Hell-Marts? heck, since i'm asking stupid questions and wishing for stupid things, why doesn't Southwestern Bell call me up and say "We like you. Have free DSL for life so you don't need those big floppy disks to transport large files from work to home"?

i'm a big fan of Animal Planet. the other night, i saw The Jeff Corwin Experience. the show is informative, and Jeff's a goob, but jeez he's nice to look at. he had that whole Billy Zane thing going for a while.

according to Sci Fi Wire (who attributed the story to the Hollywood Reporter), the Television Critics Association nominated Buffy the Vampire Slayer for best drama series and star Sarah Michelle Gellar as best actor.

ugh. a movie based on The Sims would suck. a movie based on The Simpsons (i'm hopeful) would not.

an interview with John Eaves, senior illustrator for Enterprise, talks a bit about the look of the new series.

i keep forgetting to say: my sister Dawn has moved back here from Florida. yippee! she arrived late last night. double yippee!

terrence must study the definition of "sotto voce". in a quiet office setting, voices are easily heard, especially when saying "what the fuck?"

Duchovny says he won't be back next season. i think i agree with his stated reason too.

what a gruesome way to murder your Sims.

i put in some extra time here at the office on saturday. i know, it's totally out of character for me to work more than absolutely necessary to retain my job, but i thought the extra money would be good to have for vacation next month.

the mind numbing monotony of my job became apparent when i left here, went directly home, and just sat there staring at the cats because i was too tired to do anything. my job is not strenuous in any way, and with the boss's condonation of two hours of goof off time every day (in addition to the goof off time i'm able to sneak in), it really is a cakewalk around here, but i leave here more fatigued every day than i did when i spent all night unloading trucks for Hell-Mart. although the cats like it when i vegetate, because it means i'll pet them more, i hate when i spend an evening doing nothing.

yesterday evening, i watched the Slayer Chronicles since there was no Buffy on last week, and as "Graduation Day" began, i suddenly remembered that the Tonys were on. i flipped over in time to catch the beginning. there wasn't anything really that stood out, but i did enjoy the entire show. following up Buffy with the Tonys though has left me more juiced than ever about next season's musical episode (speaking of Buffy and music, hop on over to Jean's and read her version of how next season should open. Spike sings! it's really sweet, and it works).

grocery shopping yesterday wasn't the food buying extravaganza i thought it would be. i only spent $21. i just didn't know what to buy. i ended up only with eggs, milk, a stuffed salmon something or other, and a vegetarian steak with mushroom ickiness. everytime i picked something up, i realized that i no longer remember any recipes to use that item, so i got nothing that would require me to be imaginative and creative, until i can get some cookbooks (to avoid being imaginative and creative).

i did, however, inadvertently choose what has to be the queerest supermarket in tulsa. i'm certain that, had a fire started in the store and everyone was forced to run out to the parking lot, only the lack of a large rainbow flag and two dozen lesbians on Harleys would have distinguished us from a Pride parade.

after leaving the supermarket, i drove to Borders, thinking to pick up a couple of books to help me remember how to cook. instead of cookbooks, though, i took home one of the booksellers. after a quick hour, i politely showed him the door, saying mechanically and unconvincingly that, yes, indeed, i would call him sometime, and remembering idly that if i had some pasta, parmesan, and parsley, i could make fettuccine alfredo.

don't contemporary sports team names usually evoke images of some kind of ferocity, viciousness, power or preternatural fortitude? please explain to me why anyone would call their team the Beef? it's not terribly intimidating. it may make your opponents hungry, i guess, which would be a distraction, i guess. i think this one is just a bad marketing decision.

there was a new episode of The Lone Gunmen on last night, though the season (and series) finale was a few weeks ago. i had no idea that it was going to be on, and i almost missed it. thankfully, i was watching the Simpsons right before it and saw the preview.

and you know what? it's too bad Fox cancelled this show. it's good, and i've liked the series from the beginning, but last night's episode was great. Yves kicked some ass, and she didn't use any high tech devices to take down her opponent. she used her fists and a great little boot-to-the-head move to take down the traitorous rose-colored-glasses-wearing bitch.

we got a tantalizing little bit with Yves in which, it seems, we see that she isn't hiding her identity to protect herself or just to have a Kewl Anagram Name, but that she's doing it out of fear or shame. finally, some more character development for Yves. also, she shows concern for Jimmy, not once, but twice in this episode, the second time worrying that he may be dead after being struck with a dart containing the Chinese Poison of Death.

Yves is warming up to Jimmy too. she backed off of the insulting comments and (not so) subtle allusions to his dumb-as-rocksness. Yves and Jimmy really work well together, her worldly, intelligent skankiness complementing his innocent, not-so-bright naivety. actually, because of the ass-kicking, and the character development, and the concern for Jimmy, i'll stop calling Yves a skank. she's turning out to be a cool character. she needs to keep in mind, though, that Jimmy is mine, and she'd do well to keep her hands off of him.

of course, none of this matters anymore since the show has been cancelled, though i'm sure there will be plenty of shows like "Not Really Interesting Police Videos" and "When the Elderly Attack" to fill in the space left in the schedule.

hey! guess what i get to do tonight for the first time in 4 years. i get to go grocery shopping! woo hoo!

i didn't buy groceries in the last couple of years because my roommate would have eaten everything. before that, Brian did all the shopping while we were together. 4 years is a long time. i'll need to warm up the Unit Pricing/Comparative Shopping Lobe of my brain. oooo! i can buy eggplant again! i can bake my own bread! i can have theme nights without going to an ethnic-themed restaurant!

groceries lead to cooking! hooray! i can eat the foods *i* like! i haven't had onions since i met Brian. he hates onions. but he's gone and i can cook foods with them again! being single has its advantages.

the First Lady's advice:

If your daughter(s) drink too much, it is probably best to avoid remonstration when they get home if it will inevitably lead to the typical teenage comeback "Well, at least I didn't KILL my boyfriend while driving drunk like you did Mother!" What mother hasn't dreaded those words?

[tall frosty one served by Hobbsblog]

i missed the TVGuide Online talk with Joss about the musical episode of Buffy (about which i get a little giddy whenever i think of it), but Jean has pointed towards it. i'm saddened though that this ep, the sixth of season six, will air in November, because that means the season premiere will be late September or early October instead of the August i've been hoping for.

bwahahahaha! the sport statues crack me up. try this one.
[thank you Mefi for the laugh]

headline: Jeffords reports death threats in wake of defection. fortunately, the White House stationery it was written on has given the police a lead on the identity of the threat-maker.

usually, a film has to be successful before it's turned into a cartoon, right? so why the Battlefield Earth: Animated Series, with Terl voiced by Grizzly Adams?

if you're like me and want to see Faith kicking some butt, than this rumor should make you happy: Eliza Dushku mentioned as possibility for Wonder Woman movie.

zoinks! the print version of TVGuide has a description of Joss Whedon's eight issue comic book mini-series Fray:

... it follows the exploits of a future slayer and professional thief. Set hundreds of years after the Scooby Gang's adventures, Melaka Fray is called to stake and bake a new wave of vampires and demons... "[Frey] inhabits the vast slums of a Manhatten gone wild. "The idea of magic is completely foreign to her. She's just a girl who has no idea she's the slayer," says Whedon.

ok, so this probably isn't news to those who hang out on one of the multitude of Buffy forums, but it is to me. i may have to get back into comic books for eight issues. Frey is set to hit newstands June 6.

double zoinks! here's much more information over at the Dark Horse website

heh. if the governor signs it, Oklahoma will have Agricultural Police. i wonder if we'll be seeing an episode of Cops featuring them.

"Freeze!! Drop the lasso and back away from the cow slowly!" *patting down the suspect* "you got anything on you i should know about? spurs? a bola tie maybe?"

Agpol scored a major victory yesterday against the illegal Stetson trade with the arrest of two Faux Western Wear Kingpins."

in investigating a 5 year old unsolved rape and murder, Oklahoma City police have decided to canvas the area using genetic means.

In their search for John Doe, police took blood from 200 men and compared their DNA to that of the man who left behind semen in Busken's car. There were no matches... Most of the 200 men tested so far gave their blood voluntarily, but prosecutors obtained search warrants in a few cases where people declined to provide the sample..."Police are basically saying, `If we pop a needle into enough arms we're bound to get lucky sooner or later."

if i'd had enough sleep last night, i'm sure i would have launched into a rant about unreasonable search and seizure, fascism, and a police force given far too much latitude.

"If you don't want to give your DNA, you've got something to hide," said [father of the victim] Bud Busken... "I'll stand by that until my dying day."

fuck you, pops. i didn't know the girl, didn't live in the area, and am a homosexual, but i still wouldn't voluntarily give a sample for genetic testing. cops aren't allowed to go fishing when looking for evidence.

also, let's all keep in mind that this is the same crime lab that has recently been in the news for an evidence misidentification scandal.

Numfar! "The man behind Buffy reveals all about cameos, action figures and the Cheese Man."

the Random Goth Cat Name Generator.

even Jellicle cats need Goth names.

in an effort to knock Texas out of the top spot, Oklahoma held it's 13th execution of 2001 on Tuesday night.

ok, i don't like large vehicles, often for aesthetic reasons, usually for environmental type reasons, but, by george, i'd buy one of these in a heartbeat.

With its bulletproof glass, grenade launcher, laser gun and the ability to foil pursuers with oil slicks and smoke screens, the Army's new SmarTruck is a vehicle worthy of James Bond.

i should work on getting all my Buffy and Angel links into a single post.

Harmony news! "In Harmony's last appearance on Angel, she joined a vampire cult. "They ended up cutting the final scene of [the episode]--I was in Mexico, recruiting people for the cult."

i love Harmony. i know she's not often taken seriously, but i think she has real potential at being a major baddie or a force for good (Jean and i have had discussions about Harmony and redemption. i'd love to see Harmony on the path to redemption, faltering often along the way, but making the attempt nonetheless).

and here's some Kate news. i've been wondering about her. she hasn't been seen since that whole "I never invited you in" line to Angel, but now it looks like she has herself a more regular gig somewhere else.

why is it that everytime i read mention of IML, it takes me a few moments to untranspose ("distranspose"? how 'bout "unscramble"?) the letters in my head and realize that they're not talking about film special effects?

i'm pretty sure i blogged this already, but i think i screwed the link up, so i'm putting it here again (not the screwed up link. the overall target of the linkage).

mucho thanks go out to Max for giving me something Buffy related to blog.

dunno how old this is, but it cracks me up:

There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the "Hokey Pokey", died last week at 83. The most traumatic part for the family was getting him in the coffin. They put his left leg in and then things just started to go downhill from there.

see Stan's Joke Emporium for more.

oh look. Rich is alive after all. i wish to say to him "Happy Birthday!" and "if you think 23 sucks, just remember that you'll be 30 in no time!" (there's nothing wrong with thirty. i'm looking forward to it).